Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes: One Piece Edition
by Naomi-Chwan
Summary: Just as the title says, Several of your favorite fairy tales and nursery rhymes with a wacky twist from our favorite pirates! T blanket rating. Final Chapter, Chapter Twenty-Five: Nami in Wonderland
1. Robella and the Supah Prince

**Fairy Tale: Cinderella**

**Rating: T (for a sprinkle of cursing sauce :p)**

**Characters: Robin, Franky, Bits of Zoro, Chopper, Nami and Vivi**

**A/N: Thanks for coming to check this out! Only the Strawhats could possibly make a fairy tale rated T. ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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Once Upon A Time…

A poor young woman knelt on her hands and knees, scrubbing the linoleum floors with distaste.

"These floors are so filthy, how is it possible that my step sisters get it dirty so quickly?" She asked herself.

"Robella, Get your ass in here!" One of her stepsisters called. Robella sighed and left her sponge and bucket of soapy water on the damp floor. She walked up two elegant flights of stairs and entered a large room, filled with the smell of mikans. There, on her bed was one of her wretched stepsisters.

"You are so slow, Robella, I want you to take my tray and wash it. You can eat the scraps of mikan peels," She ordered. Robella sighed and took the tray. She was just about to leave when her sister called again. "Oh, and Robella?"

"Yes Namizella?" She replied.

"You look quite disgusting today, be sure to wash up before seeing me again."

"Yes sister dear," Robella said with a harsh tone. She swiftly left the room and walked back downstairs into the kitchen. She dumped the scraps in the garbage and set the tray in hot soapy water.

"Robella," The other stepsister called.

Robella groaned and trotted back up the stairs and into another large room which smelled of a very strong perfume.

"Yes, Vivistasia?" Robin choked on the perfume.

"Here is my lunch tray, leave swiftly, I'm preparing myself for the ball this evening," She said and began applying makeup.

"Yes sister dear" She picked up the tray and promptly left. On the way back down the stairs, her evil stepmother stopped her.

"Robella, I and my daughters are going to the ball this evening, so while we're gone, clean up the girls' rooms and freshen up their bed sheets, they will be tired once they get home."

"Yes milady," She replied disappointedly.

Once Robella had set the other tray in the sink, she resumed scrubbing the floors.

'What did I do to deserve this neglect? It would be nice to go to a ball, maybe not to dance or anything, but to eat the food there and communicate with other, nicer people.' She thought to herself.

A few hours pass, and the sun was beginning to set. The sisters and their stepmother began departing in their beautiful carriage.

When they were gone, Robella went to sit in the kitchen and do the thing she loved most, read.

Despite the fact that she never had a proper education, Robella was taught by her now deceased mother how to read at an early age.

When Robella was about finished with her book, a bright light came from outside and shone through the window.

"Now what could that be?" Robella wondered aloud and closed her book. She walked out the kitchen door and shielded her eyes from the blinding greenish light.

When it began dimming, a silhouette of a person appeared.

"Who's there?" Robella called.

The person walked toward her and appeared out of the light.

Robella stared at the man before her.

"What, why are you staring at me?" The green haired man asked. He promptly looked down at what he was wearing: A light blue gown, and the small wand in his hand. "What the hell?"

"Are you some sort of magical being, okama-san?"

"I am not an Okama! I'm your fairy god… no… I'm Zoro," He growled. "I came here to help you,"

"Help me with what?"

Zoro raised his wand, "Bippity Boppity…." He caught himself before he said the last part of the line. He groaned and cast the spell without saying another word.

Robella gasped as a green light surrounded her and changed her dirty rag clothing into a beautiful purple dress.

Zoro's eyes widened a bit. "Whoa, I didn't know I could make someone look like that."

Robella looked herself over with amazement. "Now I can go to the ball?" She asked Zoro.

"Ya, hang on, I need to get you a carriage," He said and raised his wand again. Instead of casting a spell, he turned away from Robella and threw the wand into the darkness.

The wand made contact with something and someone yelped.

"Oi Chopper! Come here!" Zoro yelled. Robella sweat dropped.

Chopper, in walk point, trotted over pulling a small carriage behind him. "You didn't need to throw that at me bastard!"

"I had to use my wand, it's in the magical fairy person hand book. Now take Robella to the ball," He ordered. Chopper sighed and waited for Robella to board.

"Before you go Robella, I must warn you that my powers will wear off at the stroke of midnight," He informed.

"Your pathetic, you can't keep your powers up past midnight," Chopper teased, receiving a swift kick in the stomach.

"I'll remember, thank you Zoro," She said and rode the carriage away.

At the ball, Robella entered the large mansion and looked around. There were hundreds of people, several of them gawking at her beauty. One man smiled and confidently approached Robella.

"I am Prince Franky, will you honor me with a supah dance?" He bowed deeply.

Robella paused, but took his hand and the two walked in the middle of the dance floor.

"What's your name?" Prince Franky asked.

"It doesn't matter, you won't see me again after this," She replied solemnly.

The two danced until a large clock tower chimed at midnight. Robella gasped and quickly ran from the mansion. While she rushed down the stairs, a glass slipper fell off her foot. She looked back, but left the shoe, since it hurt her feet and she would most likely never wear it again.

Prince Franky ran after Robella, but she disappeared into the night. He looked down at the purple glass slipper that was left on the steps.

"I need to find that woman, I won't be happy again until I find her."

So many days passed as Prince Franky tried to fit the glass slipper on every woman's foot in the kingdom.

One day, he came by Robella's home.

"Prince Franky, what are you doing here?" Robella's stepmother curtsied to him.

"I'm here to try and find the woman I danced with at the ball. This is her glass slipper. May I try to fit it on your daughter's feet?" He asked.

"Well of course you can. Namizella, Vivistasia, Come down here!" She called.

The two sisters trotted down the stairs and looked flustered when they saw Prince Franky.

He tried to fit the glass slipper on each of their feet, but it simply wouldn't fit.

"There aren't any other women in this estate?" Franky asked disappointedly.

"Yes there is," Robella answered, coming out from the kitchen.

The stepsisters gasped and Robella's Step mother protested, "Robella, this is none of your business! Go back in the kitchen and clean the dishes!"

"She should have a chance," Prince Franky defended her. He placed the glass slipper over Robella's foot, and it was a perfect fit.

"You were the lady I danced with?" Prince Franky gasped.

"No." She answered.

Prince Franky paused, dumbfounded. "But the slipper fits you perfectly,"  
"Perhaps it was a coincidence, because I wouldn't wear a shoe made of glass, that would hurt, and the shoe would have broken," Robella explained.

Suddenly a wand flew across the room and hit Robella upside the head. A greenish light surrounded her and the same purple dress covered her, along with a sign board in her arms that said "Yes she is!"

Prince Franky laughed and proposed to Robella.

"Sorry, I don't want to settle down right now." She declined.

"Then you can come live in my castle," He offered.

"Does it have books?" Robella asked. Prince Franky nodded.

"Okay," She accepted and they went off in the Prince Franky's carriage to live happily ever after.

The end.

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**Hehe Nice twist at the end huh? I couldn't picture either Franky or Robin getting married, so roomates is a good step ;3**

**I couldn't think of any decent way a character could fit as the step mother, so I just called her a stepmother. Good enough?**

**Well, the next one will most likely be a nursery rhyme... so be on the look out! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Nami's Motherly Love

**Nursery Rhyme: The Old Lady Who Lived In a Shoe**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: The Strawhats**

**A/N: So for nursery rhyme format, I wrote the lines from the poem in a slant, so my story will hopefully make more sense. Feel free to let me know if it seems weird and should be formatted differently. ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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Once upon a time

_There was an old lady who lived in a shoe…_

"What are you talking about? I'm only eighteen!" Nami roared at the author.

_She had so many children, she didn't know what to do…_

"Namiiii… I'm hungry…." Luffy wined.

"No way am I that witch's child," Zoro protested.

"Mother Nami-swaaan!" Sanji swooned.

"Sanji, it's a bit awkward that you're in love with your mom," Usopp commented.

"Robin-chwan!" Sanji swooned again.

"Eww, that's Incest bro!" Franky stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"Excuse me Nami-san, may I see your panties?" Brook asked.

"Skeleton-san, I believe you are trying our mother's patience." Robin warned him.

"Why am I the only reindeer child?" Chopper wondered.

"Shut up!" Nami roared at them. Each child instantly fell silent.

_She gave them broth without any bread…_

"Nami can't I have some bread?" Luffy wined again, his soup bowl already empty.

"No, you all lost your bread privileges!" Nami answered angrily. The children protested (except Robin and Sanji) and begged for more food.

"Shut up!" Nami screamed again.

_Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed…_

"Ah, Nami-san's beatings of love…" Sanji fantasized while he lay in bed.

"How come Robin was the only one who didn't get whipped?" Usopp complained, resting on his stomach so the open gashes on his back wouldn't hurt as bad.

"Who cares, it's not like we don't get regular beatings from her anyways," Zoro grumbled, blood pooling in his bed.

"I say we get adopted by a new mom," Franky pouted.

The end…

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**A/N: Nami + whip = Win. And If anyone has any requests, I will happily accept them! Reviews will be greatly appreciated!**


	3. Luffy, Nami, and the Waffle

**Fairy Tale: Hansel And Gretel**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: Luffy and Nami..... and a mystery man!**

**A/N: No its not LuNa, and just letting you know, I'm going to save some of my more favorite fairy tales to the end. (like Alice in Wonderland) cuz i'm mean like that :p (I'm not saying I don't like cinderella)**

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Once Upon a Time…

After docking the Thousand Sunny at a seemingly uninhabited island, Luffy set out to go exploring, and after a long dispute, Nami set off along with him, to make sure he didn't get into trouble.

"I'm hungry. Nami, do you have any food?" Luffy asked for the umpteenth time.

"Luffy, I told you that you already ate all the food we brought!" Nami snarled.

Luffy stuck his lower lip out in a childish pout and held his stomach as it grumbled. In the distance, the trees began dispersing and the two could see a clearing.

"What?" Nami asked when Luffy started sniffing the air. Luffy looked at the clearing and drooled, and Suddenly he bursted into a quick sprint. "Wait, you're supposed to stay on the path!"

Nami rushed after her captain and both of them ran out of the forest and into the clearing. There was a small meadow, surrounded by forest. It would be impossible for anyone to see it from the beach. Right in the middle of the meadow was a peculiar looking cottage.

Luffy continued running toward the cottage. Nami stopped at the edge of the forest and called after him. When Luffy approached the house, he sniffed it and his mouth watered.

"Luffy, don't eat the house," Nami yelled at him. Luffy opened his mouth wide and took a large bite out of the corner of the building. Nami ran toward him to stop his nonsense.

Then she smelled it too. It smelled like something sweet. She reached over to the gaping hole in the house and took a chunk. She smelled it again and took a bite. "Ginger bread?"

Luffy smiled and took another large bite. An entire wall was missing and it exposed the innards of the cottage. A large, ugly looking person turned around. His eyes popped out of his head as he realized what Luffy had done. "What the hell?"

"Luffy, you idiot, you just ate someone's house!" Nami screamed and slapped him upside the head. "I don't want to have to pay for the damages!"

"Oh, sorry mister. Your house tasted good…" Luffy apologized.

"I'll have Luffy fix it for you…" Nami trailed off once she got a good look at the stranger's face. He looked oddly familiar. "Luffy? Does that guy look familiar to you?"

Luffy tilted his head and stared at the man. He had a huge build, blue hair, and giant chin. "No."

"What's your name? You look familiar," Nami asked.

The man hesitated "Waffle," He made up.

Nami blinked. It was obvious who he was now. "Luffy…"

"See, we don't know him Nami. His name is Waffle," Luffy grinned.

"You idiot, that's obviously Wapol!" Nami pointed at the man.

Luffy stared at him again. "No, his name is Waffle."

Nami slapped her forehead with exasperation.

"Since you ate my house, will you help me fix it?" Wapol asked.

"Sure, then I can eat it again!" Luffy grinned, making Wapol sweat drop.

"There is fresh ginger bread in the oven. Will you help me get it?" He asked.

Not thinking, Luffy walked toward the oven and opened it wide. He bent down in front of it to reach the pastry.

Nami saw Wapol prepare to shove Luffy inside and ran forward. Just as Wapol leaned forward, Nami snatched Luffy out of the way. Wapol, being top heavy, fell inside the oven. Nami tried to close the door, but Wapol was too huge.

"Why did you do that Nami?" Luffy asked, surprised by the sudden turn of events.

"Wapol was going to eat you! Help me close the oven," Nami ordered. She and Luffy pushed on Wapol's butt to try and make him fit, but when the oven started to break they gave up.

"He's probably dead by now anyways, let's just go." Nami panted.

"Wait," Luffy paused. He quickly stretched out his arms and bundled up the furniture around the house.

"What are you doing?" Nami asked furiously.

"It's made of candy, I'm hungry!"

Nami groaned, and waited for Luffy to gather the food into his mouth. Then the two ran back out into the woods.

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**A/N: Haha, eat your house, stuff you in an oven, and jack all of your candy furniture. Way to be a pirate :P Reviews = cookies.**


	4. Sanji and Nami's Tragic Fall

**Nursery Rhyme: Jack and Jill**

**Rating: K+**

**Cast: Sanji and Nami and a bit of Zoro**

**A/N: Hmm.... This seems more like a death fic than a parody... ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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Once Upon A Time…

_Jack And Jill Ran Up The Hill…_

"Why do we have to go up that freaking hill to get you grog?" Nami argued with Zoro.

"Luffy said you should go look for something to drink on the top of the mountain, and my beer senses are tingling."

"That's the dumbest reason I have ever heard!" Nami blared.

"Nami-swan, There are fruit trees up that hill anyways, we can pick fruit to store for later." Sanji told her.

"You're actually siding with me ero-cook?" Zoro raised his eyebrows in amazement.

"Ya right, like there's some magical well that has beer in it on that hill."

"Teh. Fine, I can't wait to see the look on your face when you realize there is beer up there."

_To Fetch a Pail of Water…_

"How tall is this stupid hill?" Nami shaded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at the steep hill.

"I can carry you on my back if you wish," Sanji offered with a heart replacing his eye.

"Wait, I can see the top, it looks like there's a well up there," Nami discovered and rushed toward it.

On the top of the hill, the two could see just about everything on the island, even the Thousand Sunny docked at a distant beach.

Nami peered down the well and sniffed. "It smells like… beer!" Nami gasped.

"I'm not doubting your wonderful sense of smell Nami-san, but are you sure?" He asked. He lowered the bucket that hung by a rope down into the well. When they heard the bucket breech the liquids inside, Sanji pulled it back up.

Nami tasted the liquid. "That's definitely beer; it tastes pretty good too,"

"Shit, the Marimo was right," Sanji said.

The two raced back down the hill, Sanji holding the bucket of beer. They planned on telling the crew their mysterious discovery and to get some barrels to stock up on the tasty alcohol.

_Jack Fell Down and Broke His Crown…_

The hill was extremely steep. And at the pace the two were going, it was almost inevitable. Sanji, carrying the large bucket, began to stumble. And thanks to the bucket, he was top heavy.

Sanji's feet couldn't keep him balanced and they flew up over his head.

_And Jill Came Tumbling After…_

Nami turned, but it was too late. Sanji bumped into her and they both began falling down the hill.

Sanji rolled toward a large boulder and hit the top of his head on it.

After what seemed like an eternity of falling, the two finally landed on level ground. The bucket bounced past them, spilling beer all over Nami.

Sanji's head was bleeding and his vision grew fuzzy.

"Chopper, I think Nami and Sanji are hurt, and they spilled my beer," Zoro informed the doctor after watching the two fall to the foot of the hill.

The End.

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**A/N: I'm not very proud of this.... why? I don't know. Its just not my favorite..... oh! probably because Sanji gets a concussion...**


	5. Snow Green

**Fairy Tale: Snow White**

**Rated: T**

**Cast: Zoro, Nami, Luffy, Sanji, And The CP9 (save Blueno)**

**A/N: SO SO SO sorry for the late update! I was had a nasty flu during the weekend. TT_TT well to make it up to you, I wrote up a classic Fairy tale at a decent length, enjoy! ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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Once Upon A Time…

In a large castle there lived two people. Zoro, who everyone in town claims, is the most beautiful person in the world, and his step-mom, Nami. Nami had a grudge toward her step-son. She couldn't imagine why everyone thought a green haired man could possibly be beautiful.

Every morning, she would do her hair and apply her make up, then look into her magic mirror.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful of them all?" She would ask.

And every morning the mirror would answer, "You are your majesty."

But one morning, Nami did her hair and applied her makeup, and when she asked her mirror who was the most beautiful of them all, the mirror replied with, "Zoro is your majesty."

"Excuse me? Are you freaking mad?" Nami screamed at the mirror. In reply the mirror brought up a picture of Zoro working out.

"He is not beautiful! You must be broken," Nami picked the mirror up and checked it for scratches or chips.

"He is definitely gorgeous your highness. Look at his muscles," The mirror said in a monotone and played another picture of Zoro with his shirt off. Nami avoided glancing at the picture. This was the last straw. Nami had to get rid of Zoro.

She reached for her den den moushi and called on one of her servants. Minutes later, Luffy came bounding into her room. "What do you need?"

"I need you to kill Zoro, take him into a forest and use this axe to kill him," Nami ordered as she gave him a giant medieval battle axe. Luffy stared at the giant weapon with amazement.

"But I don't want to kill him with a battle axe," Luffy said petulantly.

"Fine, if you don't want to use that, just shove him into quicksand," Nami sighed.

"Will I be paid?" Luffy asked.

"You can have some meat when you get back," Nami offered.

Luffy's mouth watered, "I'll do it!"

Later in that day, Luffy went to Zoro's training grounds. Zoro was carrying an impossibly enormous weight in his mouth while swinging an equally enormous weight back and forth in his arms.

"Oi, Zoro!" Luffy called to him.

Zoro continued is training with a small glance of acknowledgement.

"You wanna take a walk with me?" Luffy asked.

"Not now Luffy, I'm training."

"Please?" Luffy made puppy eyes.

"No."

"Please?" he stuck out his lower lip.

"Not now."

"… how 'bout now?"

"No Luffy!" Zoro yelled.

"Okay…" Luffy pouted. He turned away from Zoro and began sulking. When Zoro refocused on his training, Luffy turned back around and grabbed his katana.

"Luffy give those back!" Zoro bellowed. Luffy ran away with his swords into the forest. Zoro had no option other than to chase after him.

After two hopeless hours of wandering around, Zoro sat at a base of a tree.

Luffy sat up in a tree, watching the poor lost Marimo. "I don't feel like killing him, he's too funny."

"Dammit, the trees probably moved around, I can't find Luffy anywhere!" Zoro grumbled to himself.

Night was just beginning to fall, so Zoro took a nap under the tree's sanctuary.

In the morning, a ray of sun shot light through a small clearing in the tree tops and glowed on Zoro's face. He awoke and sat up, trying to remember where he was. He decided to wander around until he found a path. After a few hours of wandering, Zoro came to a clearing, and in the distance he saw a tiny cottage.

The door way was small, and Zoro had to bend down to fit inside. There was a small table set for seven people and upstairs, seven small beds.

"This house is weird, but I might as well eat something here," Zoro thought out loud. He raided the small refrigerator and managed to make cold pizza and ramen. He ate it quickly and decided to wait to see if anyone would come into the house.

Later that day, seven small people came inside and discovered the large green haired man, asleep sprawled out on all of their beds.

"What's this guy doing here?" the grumpy one, Jyabura asked.

"He's sleeping in my bed, that's sexual harassment," The dominant, Kalifa said.

"Maybe he just needed a place to stay," The always happy and always optimistic one, Kaku suggested.

"Shut up happy, we don't need your opinion," Jyabura snapped at him.

"You want me to kick your ass- I mean, It's okay Jyabura, I forgive you."

"Just get him out of the house so I can go to sleep," Lucci yawned.

"Jyabura wears a training bra, chapapa-a-aa-achoo!" Fukurou announced.

"I do not!"

"Yoi Yoi, why hasn't Spandam said anything yet?" The bashful one, Kumadori asked.

Spandam poked Zoro in the side and said nothing.

"That's because he's the dopy one," Kalifa answered.

Spandam twiddle his thumbs and smiled goofily.

Zoro awoke with a start and stared at the mini and out of character CP9. "Where am I?"

"You're asleep in my bed and you ate our food. Get out," Kalifa ordered

"Can't I stay here for just a bit longer?" Zoro asked.

"Alright," Kaku agreed.

"Shut up Kaku, you fool, he needs to get out," Jyabura snapped at him.

"I'll make food for you," Zoro offered.

"You know how to cook?" Lucci asked.

Zoro hesitated, "… Sure."

The CP9 minis discussed the issue. On one hand, they had a giant freeloader that is too big for the house, on the other, they had a free meal when they got home from a hard day of assassination.

"I guess you can stay for a couple of days, but you have to sleep outside," Kalifa agreed.

Back at the castle, Luffy walked into the throne room where Nami was awaiting his news. Luffy showed Nami a piece of paper that had a barely legible heart drawn on it.

"What is that piece of trash?" Nami questioned.

"It's Zoro's heart, can I have my meat now?" Luffy asked.

"No it's not, that's a poorly drawn heart… I think," Nami glowered at him.

"Yes it is," Luffy persisted.

"No it's not," Nami countered.

"Ask the mirror," Luffy suggested.

Nami rolled her eyes and pulled out a handy magical mini mirror, "Mirror mirror in my hand, who in the kingdom is the most grand?"

"Zoro is your majesty, he now resides in a forest cottage," The mirror informed.

Nami shot a glance at Luffy, "You didn't kill him?"

"Ya I did, see?" Luffy held up another picture of a poorly drawn Zoro with little X's for eyes drowning in quicksand.

Nami groaned, "Why do I always have to do things myself?"

Later that evening, Zoro was preparing a pot of more ramen, when there was a knock on the door. Zoro opened it up to reveal an ugly looking hunchback woman dressed in a suspicious black cloak.

"Ya, what do you need?" Zoro asked.

"I would like to sell you my apples," Nami explained.

"I don't need any," Zoro stated flatly and began to close the door.

"Wait, these are delicious apples, will you try a sample?" Nami offered a slice of a juicy green apple to him.

Hesitantly Zoro took a bite and instantly dropped to the floor.

Nami chuckled wickedly and made her escape back to her castle, but on the way she fell into a sand pit/ plot hole and sank.

That night, the CP9 ultra mini squad returned and discovered Zoro lying there.

"What are we going to do with him?" Lucci wondered aloud.

"We could just burry him," Jyabura suggested.

"Let's just put him outside and cover him with a sheet," Kalifa ordered. It took all of them to lift Zoro, but they managed to lay him on the wet grass behind the cottage and they wrapped him in a thin white sheet.

"Wait a second, was there a piece of an apple by him?" Kaku asked.

"There was a piece in his hand," Kalifa confirmed.

"I've heard this story before, this guy needs a kiss from a prince to wake him up," Kaku informed.

"Where did you hear that from?" Jyabura snickered.

"One of your fairy tale books," Kaku answered smugly.

Jyabura growled and gave Kaku a phone book. "Where are you going to get a prince from then?"

Kaku ran his finger down a list inside the P section. He showed Jyabura the book and pointed at a phone number: 1-800-GET-PRINCE.

In the rising sun, a prince rode valiantly on his steed toward the forest. Once he arrived, he hopped off his horse and knocked on the cottage's little door.

Fukurou answered, "Yes? Achoo…"

"I, Prince Sanji, from the kingdom of Retardia, have come to kiss the princess," Sanji announced.

"Well, technically, Zoro isn't a princess," Fukurou admitted.

"Is she a fair maiden in the need of my services?" Sanji asked.

"Why don't you just follow me…. Chapapa…." Fukurou led Sanji around the cottage and pulled the sheets back. Zoro laid there quietly, not disturbed since last night.

Sanji's eye widened in horror, "You expect me to kiss the shitty marimo?!"

"There isn't any other way to wake him up," Fukurou answered solemnly.

"I know what will get him up," Sanji muttered and gave Zoro a swift kick in the not-completely healed stitches across his abdomen.

Zoro jolted and groaned in pain, "What the hell was that for?"

"Glad your awake princess Marimo," Sanji said sarcastically.

Then they lived not so happily ever after. The end.

"Wait, what about my meat?" Luffy protested.

The End.

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**A/N: Because I got quite a bit to say... I'm going to momentarily steal Dandy Wonderous's A/N set up....**

_"Will I be paid?" Luffy asked. "You can have some meat when you get back," Nami offered. Luffy's mouth watered, "I'll do it!"_

Yes I know Luffy wouldn't kill someone like that, so i figured he'd make a deal, don't do the job, and try to get the award.

_"He's sleeping in my bed, that's sexual harassment," The dominant, Kalifa said_.

The seven dwarves from disney, theres one named Doc, who seems to be the unofficial leader, so thats who Kalifa is. But I couldn't call her doc, so I just called her Dominant.

_He raided the small refrigerator and managed to make cold pizza and ramen._

So I was typing most of this at school, and I turn to my friends (who don't have a clue what One Piece is) and asked "Quick, if a buff guy raided a fridge, what food would he eat?" and One of my friends said pizza and another said ramen, even thought ramen isn't kept in a fridge....

_"That's because he's the dopy one," Kalifa answered._

XD I couldn't resist, and for the record, Lucci is sleepy and Fukurou is sneezy.

_Nami chuckled wickedly and made her escape back to her castle, but on the way she fell into a sand pit/ plot hole and sank._

Look at the original, In Grimms's story, the wicked step mom falls into a sand pit and dies. thats it!

_That night, the CP9 ultra mini squad returned and discovered Zoro lying there._

Super Mini CP9 hyper force go!

_1-800-GET-PRINCE_

Oh ya, I went there.

**Hehe thanksfor reading! Reviews are rainbows and butterflys!**


	6. Little Miss Robin and The Spider

**Nursery Rhyme: Little Miss Muffett**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Robin and Brook**

**A/N: Short. just a little ficlet.... I thought it was cute though....**

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Once Upon a Time

_Little miss Muffett sat on her tuffet…_

"Why am I sitting on this small foot stool when I could be sitting in that comfy couch right next to me?" Robin wondered out loud.

_Eating her curds and whey…_

"So now I'm sitting on a foot stool, eating a bucket of cottage cheese… without a spoon. Did the author get into her stash of crack again?"

_Along came a spider who sat down beside her…_

A small white spider with a large black afro came down a thin thread of web and perched onto the arm of the sofa next to Robin. "Hello Miss Robin, will you be so kind as to show me your drawers?"

"I'm sorry spider-san, but I have to decline," Robin answered, continuing eating her cottage cheese with her fingers.

There was a long bit of silence when the persistent spider asked again, "May I see your drawers now?"

"No, spider-san,"

More time passed and Robin began to build up dread for yet another attempt from the spider at seeing her drawers.

_And frightened Miss Muffett away…_

"Then perhaps I can borrow some money?" the spider asked.

Robin stood up from her stool and left the spider without a reply. She turned a corner and walked into a small kitchen. The spider stayed in his spot expectantly. There was raddling in the kitchen and the spider could hear utensils being moved about.

Robin returned with a hand tucked at her side, concealing the item in her hand. When she was close to the spider, she rose her arm and wacked him with a fly swatter. The spider, not being completely harmed, scurried back up his web quickly.

"Shoo, you can't see my drawers or have money spider-san," Robin said.

The End.

* * *

**A/N: Yep, In 1805 (when the poem was first created) Panties were known scarcely as Drawers. Ah the OOC'ness of imagining robin eating cottage cheese with her hands. :D**


	7. Nami's Ridiculously Long Hair

**Fairy Tale: Repunzel**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: Bellemere, Nami, and Zoro**

**A/N: I think I created a new kind of fanfic, the kind that starts out normally, and fairly well written, but gets crackier (if thats even a word) as a person reads. What should I call it? And I tried to combine Nami's name and Repunzel's name, but I couldn't come up with a decent name I wanted to stick with soooooo.... her name changes every time :p adds to the crack. Well anyways, ON WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

There was a man and a woman who owned a little house that had an amazing view of a large, lush garden. The married couple had long wished for a baby, and recently the wife had been blessed.

One day the wife looked out the window in her room over to the beautiful garden. There, several large mikan trees lined the far side of the garden. The mikans which grew on the trees were large and bright, and perfectly ripe. The wife had a sudden craving for one of the mikans, but with passing time, she realized that she could not have any. Eventually she grew depressed and ill.

The husband terribly concerned for his wife and their unborn child asked her what was wrong.

"Those beautiful mikan trees in Bellemere's grove, I need to eat one, or I'm afraid I will die," The wife answered meekly.

The husband, with no other options, snuck into the grove at dusk and picked a few mikans from the trees. He returned to their home with them and fed his wife. The mikans were absolutely exquisite, but the wife grew even more ill with the knowledge that she will never have one again.

Once again, the husband returned to the grove to pick more mikans. But as he looked up from his harvesting, he turned pale.

"What are you doing you dirty thief!" Bellemere asked, pointing a rifle at the man's forehead.

"Please have mercy on me Miss Bellemere! I only picked a few mikans out of desperation. My wife is sick and she is bearing our first child, I needed these mikans or my wife would die!" He cried.

Bellemere lowered her rifle and pitied the poor man. "Fine, you can take as many mikans as you want, but I have one condition, when your wife gives birth to the child, I will take her a raise her."

The man hesitated, but ultimately decided it would be better to save both the lives of his wife and child so he agreed to the condition.

When the wife gave birth to her baby girl, Bellemere took her and named her Namipunzel.

She took her away to her grove and taught her to grow mikans. Namizel's hair was long and a bright beautiful orange.

One day when she turned twelve Bellemere locked her away in a tower in the forest. She said that she needed to do this to protect from the author on crack. The tower had no door and no stairs, just a random window.

Every day Bellemere came to the tower and called to Repunami, "Hey, give me a ladder!"

And everyday Namipun let down her ridiculously long hair so that Bellemere could climb up.

One day Prince Zoro got lost and was walking through the forest when he heard Bellemere call "Give me a ladder!"

He knelt behind a tree and watched as the longed haired chick lowered her braid to the ground.

After Bellemere left, Zoro walked toward the tower and called, "Oi, let down your freaking hair!"

Reponzami obliged by letting her hair down. At that point, Zoro didn't know what to do, so her grabbed hold of her hair and gave it a swift yank. Namiel didn't expect this kind of strength and fell out of the window. Zoro looked up just before Reponell fell on his head.

"What was that for you moss-headed retard!" Namipo yelled as she rubbed her head.

"I don't know, I just did it!" Zoro yelled back, still pinned underneath her.

"I told you the author on crack was out to get you Naponzel," Bellemere reminded.

The End.

* * *

**A/N: Yes... definitely much more cracky at the end compared to the begging. Nami's parents will forever be shrouded in mystery. Reviews please!**


	8. Hooray for da Crack!

**Nursery Rhyme: Hey Diddle Diddle**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: The Mugiwaras! :D**

**A/N: Warning. Crack.**

* * *

Once Upon a time…

_Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle…_

"Yoho, how about we sing some songs and have a random party?" Brook suggested, raising his violin to his chin.

"Yosh kanpai!" Luffy called out, raising a mug of grog, the others responded by clanging their mugs together with a cheer.

_The cow jumped over the moon…_

"This party is super!" Franky shouted.

"I agree, I'm over the moon with joy," Robin agreed. Suddenly she stood up and jumped. She managed to reach the moon then did a triple back flip 180 degrees spin and fell back toward the earth, diving straight into the ocean perfectly.

_The dog laughed to see such sport…_

Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp held up three scoreboards that said 9.2.

Zoro's eyes widened to see Robin do such a thing. Sanji dove in after her eager to fish her out of the sea.

For some reason Nami couldn't stop laughing.

_And the dish ran away with the spoon._

Usopp held his arm toward Luffy, "Shall we?"

Luffy smiled and linked his arm with Usopp's and the two jumped off the ship, somehow managing to run away on the water.

The End.

* * *

**A/N: Yup, I was being lazy yesterday when I actually planned on posting a new drabble... but we all have those days :P**


	9. Beauty, Beast, and the White Rose

**Fairy Tale: Beauty and the Beast**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: Vivi, Cobra, and Zoro**

**A/N: This seems to be set as Zoro living in Arabasta and not being apart of the crew.... just humor me please?**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

A beautiful kingdom in the large desserts of Arabasta lived peacefully. People bustled about through the dirt paths, wiping their foreheads free of sweat. The king of the beautiful kingdom, Sir Cobra and his daughter princess Vivi were walking around in the market. This was a regular activity they did together, looking through each stand. Most of the time Vivi would ask for a piece of jewelry, or a dress, but one day she saw a beautiful painting. It was of a single white rose, placed delicately in a small transparent glass vase.

"Father, what flower is that?" Vivi asked, tugging on her dad's tunic.

Cobra turned around a studied the painting, "It's a white rose. Do you want the painting honey?" He asked, receiving an eager smile from the merchant.

"No, not the painting, I want the actual flower, please?" Vivi asked. The merchant sighed.

"Roses don't grow here, but I promise you I will get you one someday," Cobra promised.

Ten years passed, Cobra had to make a trip to Yuba, and on the way he noticed a bush with white flowers. He told the guards who were escorting him to go on without him, and approached the bush. At a closer glance he discovered that they were white roses.

"How could a rose grow here?" Cobra asked out loud. Remembering his promise to Vivi, he reached down and picked a rose.

Suddenly a man jumped out from behind the bushes and held one of his three swords at the King's neck.

"I'll teach you for picking one of my roses," He threatened. The king dropped the flower in the dirt and held his hands above his head. Zoro bent down and cradled the rose in his hand, as if it were an injured child.

"I'm so sorry sir, I just promised my daughter a long time ago that I would get her a white rose somehow," Cobra admitted.

"I don't care, you hurt this bush and so you will die," Zoro stared coldly.

The king gulped, "Is there any way I could make it up to you?"

"You could let your daughter live in my home, she can keep the place clean and cook for me," Zoro grinned devilishly.

Cobra thought about it. If he didn't agree with this plan, he would be killed. If he let Vivi stay, he might be able to rescue her and arrest this beast.

"Fine, you can have her as a servant," Cobra hissed.

When he returned, Vivi understood the situation and created a plan to escape the beastly man with Carue.

Vivi was left at the same white rose bush. Zoro approached her and grabbed her by the wrist, dragged her to his small cottage and told her to wash dishes.

While Vivi washed the giant pile of dishes, Zoro sat in a chair, peering out a window at the rose bush, and occasionally looking over his shoulder at Vivi.

The awkward silence ensued for what seemed like forever. Vivi sensed when she was being watched by the man, and the constant pressure of his glare forced her to try to break the silence. "So why are you so defensive over that rose bush?" She asked.

Zoro tensed from the sound of her voice, reaching for his katana. "It's none of your business," He said gruffly. Vivi huffed and dried the last dish.

After a quick inspection from Zoro, which mostly consisted of grumbles of approval, he asked her to make something for dinner.

Vivi poked her head in the refrigerator and glowered at the small amount of ingredients.

She removed two tomatoes, and after a raid from the cupboards she managed to scrape enough food to make two servings of spaghetti and buttered bread.

When the meal was prepared, Zoro sat down at the table and looked a bit surprised at what she managed to put together

They ate in silence, but once again, Vivi mustered up the courage to speak to him. "Is it because roses shouldn't grow in this place? Do you make a profit off of them?"

"Shut up, like I would sell them!" Zoro answered harshly. Clearly, her question had provoked something.

"I don't see any other reason why someone would go to such great lengths to protect flowers," Vivi pressed.

Zoro suddenly slammed his palms on the table and stood. "They are not just some flowers, so shut up!" He quickly left the room and went outside to sit next to the rose bush.

Vivi sighed and cleaned up the dishes. That night Zoro had calmed down enough to show Vivi her room. It wasn't exactly large, but the room was cozy and had a small balcony. Zoro left her to unpack her things and make herself comfortable.

After she put away her clothing, she heard a tap on the sliding glass door. She walked out to the balcony and discovered Carue waiting for her on the ground. "Sorry Carue, I can't leave right now, I have to figure this guy out," Vivi said. Carue quacked disappointedly.

She raised one finger in a gesture for Carue to wait then walked back into her room and managed to find a pen and paper. She wrote a letter to her dad in hope that he would understand. "Take this to father and make sure he reads it," Vivi ordered, passing the note in to the breeze. Carue caught it and tucked it into his cap. He then saluted and left Vivi.

Several more days passed with Vivi doing chores around the house while Zoro trained, watched the rose bush, and glared at Vivi. One evening Vivi caught Zoro kneeling at the bush and bowing his head. He wasn't praying, but it looked like he was mourning.

When he came back into the cottage Vivi had to ask, "Are you protecting the bush because it's a memorial for someone?"

Zoro sighed and sat down in a chair, "Not exactly, one of my childhood rivals is buried there. I didn't plant the roses, but they somehow grew after she was buried. I figured it was a reincarnation of her or something."

Vivi was at a loss for words; instead she took Zoro by the hand and brought him back out to the rose bush. She bent down to the flower her father had picked and replanted it in the ground. The long dead flower wilted and bent over into the dirt.

"Try touching it," Vivi told Zoro.

Gently he reached down and helped the flower back up. It remained standing once again. Vivi smiled.

As the week passed, several more roses magically spread around the house and up the walls. They grew bigger and shone in different colors of green and blue.

Vivi soon returned to her kingdom with her father. She greeted her father happily and told him all about her time at Zoro's home. She went to her room to unpack her things. She reached into her bag and gasped when she saw a single white rose laying next to a small note that read: "Thank You"

The End.

* * *

**A/N: This one would have to be my favorite so far. Its just so cute X3**

**Sorry I missed it yesterday, but Happy birthday Luffy!!**

**And... I guess this doesn't seem much like Beauty and the Beast, I go by the original story, but it seems I went a bit off topic here.**


	10. Little Red Riding Robin

**Fairy Tale: Little Red Riding Hood**

**Rated: T (tiny bit of language)**

**Cast: Robin, Nami, Franky, and Chopper**

**A/N: I like this one, just a small taste of wacky :)**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

"Little Robin, will you please take this basket of medicine and deliver it to Nami, she is terribly Ill," Chopper informed the small girl in a red hood.

Robin took the basket into her hands, "Of course doctor Chopper-kun, where does she live?"

"If you take the path through the woods you should be able to find her cottage," Chopper said, "And please be careful, go straight to Nami's house ad come straight home."

"I won't be long," Robin obliged. She left the house and quickly located her route on the dirt path that went straight through the dense forest.

On the way there, Robin saw a small blueberry bush. "Those look absolutely delicious, I should pick some for Nami as well," She considered out loud. She set her basket down and started to pick the blueberries, eating a few as well.

There was a small rustle in a bush behind her. Robin stood up quickly and looked around. There was no one in sight. She picked up her basket and continued her walk down the path hastily. She could hear heavy footsteps pursuing her. Closer and closer…

Once in range Robin hung the basket in the crook of her elbow and crossed her arms. "Dos Fleur,"

Two arms sprouted out of the ground and grabbed on to her pursuer's legs. It spooked the pursuer and caused him to fall on his face.

"Why have you been following me?" Robin asked harshly. She gasped when she looked at him. It was a wolf that could walk on two legs, it had a long snout with three chins, sunglasses, tall light blue hair and a speedo. "Are you a perverted wolf?"

"I am not perverted! I was… I was just lost! Ya, and I was going to ask you for directions, so where are you going?"

"I'm just delivering my basket of goods to Nami-san, who is sick and lives in a cottage at the end of the road," Robin explained.

"Ooh, when you say goods, do you mean cola?" The wolf asked sniffing the basket.

Robin pulled the basket away from him "I don't know, if cola is some type of medicine I guess," She said uneasily.

"Well then, I have to go, thank you miss," He said and trotted off back into the woods. Out of hearing range, he snickered with a new plan of attack. If he could pretend to be "Nami-san" then he would get the goods in that basket.

At Nami's cottage there was a quiet rapping on the door.

"Who is it?" Nami called meekly while she rested in bed.

"Uh… I'm here to deliver some medicine, I'm the girl in the red hood," The big bad wolf tried to disguise his voice.

"Oh Robin, is that you? You sound so gruff," Nami said.

"Well, I just have a cough is all, may I come in?" The wolf asked.

"Yes you may, just lift the latch and come in," She coughed into her thick blanket.

The wolf came in and grinned wickedly, "You look super lady, super enough to eat!"

"What? You're that perverted wolf that I saw dancing in the forest one day," Nami accused.

"I am not a pervert! And I'm here to eat you!" The wolf threatened, licking his lips.

"Like you are," Nami strained her voice. She leapt out of bed and kicked the wolf in the nether regions. The wolf howled in pain and fell to the ground, clutching his family jewels.

Robin suddenly came in, "What happened here Nami-san?" She asked worriedly, looking down at the wolf.

"Oh nothing dear, just had to take care of some business. Will you excuse me?" Nami said pleasantly and resumed beating up the poor wolf.

The wolf got up with a snarl and scurried out of the cottage and back into the forest. "And stay out, you pervert!" Nami shook a fist at him.

"I guess you won't need this medicine after all," Robin grinned.

"Oh, I guess not, there was medicine in that basket?" Nami asked.

Robin peered inside the basket and realized she wasn't carrying medicine at all. She was in fact, carrying three bottles of cola. "Whoops, no wonder the wolf wanted this," She chuckled.

The End…

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**A/N: Aww poor Franky... hmm I wonder how long this set of drabbles will carry on, theres so many fariy tales and nursery rhymes out there... Well, Reviews are always appreciated! and Critics are even more appreciated!**


	11. Sanji's Usual Morning

**Nursery Rhyme: One, Two, Buckle My Shoes**

**Rated: T**

**Cast: Sanji, Nami, and Robin**

**A/N: It was pretty fun making a story out of this nursery rhyme, I don't know hw, i was just bitten by a plot bunny while I read the rhyme.**

* * *

_One two buckle my shoe…_

Sanji awoke in his hammock. The sun wasn't up, as usual, and the rest of the crew were snoring the early morning away.

Sanji yawned and stretched his arms and legs. He stepped onto the cold floor and winced. Quickly he put his shoes on to try to preserve the last bit of warmth in his feet.

_Three, four, knock at the door…_

He walked out of the men's quarters and crossed the lawn deck. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting shadows over the ship and everything on it. He walked to the bath house and noticed a dim light coming from the small crack between the door and the floor.

Sanji knocked on the door "Is someone in there?" But there was no response. He opened the door to reveal Nami resting inside a bathtub filled with warm water and sudds.

Sanji's face reddened and he quickly shut the door. Why did there have to be shitty bubbles? He thought._  
__  
Five, six, pick up sticks…_

In the kitchen Sanji began his usual routine of preparing enough breakfast to feed a crowd. He opened a large crate that sat in a corner. It was filled with fire wood. He picked up a few.

_Seven, eight, lay them straight…_

He placed them into the "giant oven that bakes anything" as Franky called it and started a fire.

_Nine, ten, a big fat hen…_

Todays recipe included chicken, which seemed to be a bit unusual for breakfast. He walked into the large storage room and picked out a large chicken breast that had been preserved with salt.

_Eleven, twelve, dig and delve…_

He needed other ingredients as well, hash browns, sour crème, chicken broth, it definitely took a lot of digging around crates and barrels.

_Thirteen, fourteen, maids a-courting…_

"Sanji-kun," Nami called softly, allowing herself in the galley.

Inside the storage room she heard Sanji bump his head on a crate and curse under his breath.

"Yes Nami-swan? Would you life an appetizer, or some coffee?" He asked.

"No thank you, I was just wondering, did you happen to walk in on me while I was bathing?" She asked.

Sanji's heart skipped a beat and a small blush betrayed his confidence. "Oh… of c-course not Nami-swan,"

Nami grinned cunningly and approached him. Sanji backed up to a counter nervously. Nami pressed herself against his chest and held his chin, making eye contact, she whispered seductively, "That's going to cost you, 100,000 beli,"

Shivers rolled through his body and he grinned goofily, "I will be sure to pay off every last sent,"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Robin came in quietly. Nami walked away from Sanji, as if nothing happened, to sit with her friend at the table.

_Fifteen, sixteen, maids in the kitchen…_

Sanji turned away from the ladies and panted, clutching his racing heart. He eventually regained his composure and served Robin a cup of coffee. "Breakfast will be served soon ladies, in the mean time I can serve you some snacks," he offered.

"That's alright cook-san, we'll wait for breakfast," Robin declined politely.

_Seventeen, eighteen, maids in waiting…_

While Sanji prepared the breakfast casserole along with several other side dishes, the rest of the crew began waking up, judging by the lack of snoring and the surplus of grumbles and yelling to get out of their beds.

The smell of breakfast made Sanji's, along with everyone else's, stomachs growl._  
_

_Nineteen, twenty, my plate's empty…_

When breakfast was done, he arranged portions and set the table. Nami called the rest of hooligans to breakfast. Once again, words were minced, food was stolen off of plates, and stomachs were being stuffed.

When the crew was finished, one by one they left the kitchen, leaving Sanji and a mountain of dishes. He looked at the one plate he saved for himself, eager to dig in. Unfortunately, he discovered the plate empty, save a few crumbs

"Luffy, I'm going to kick your shitty ass!" Sanji roared. Luffy laughed outside on the lawn deck, patting his full stomach.

* * *

**A/N: Luffy you rotten thief! Haha review are greatly appreciated.**


	12. The Unwanted Reindeer

**Fairy Tale: The Ugly Duckling**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Chopper, Luffy and Nami**

**A/N: You know, Chopper's past sounds like another version of the Ugly Duckling. I'm surprised I didn't realize that sooner.**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

In a herd of deer that grazed on the sparsely grown grass on drum island, a new generation of deer were born. Each newborn was born normal and healthy. Their mothers cleaned them and watched as the babies took their first wobbly steps.

One of the deer, a small male, grazed from a peculiar tree. He plucked a fruit from the tree and took small bites from it. But the fruit tasted horrible, so the deer left it in search of some new food.

But before long, the deer fell to his side and thumped in the snow. He breathed heavily and kicked his hoofs in an uncontrollable spasm. His mother licked her fawn in attempt to console him. But after a few minutes, the little guy stopped kicking and took shallow breaths.

The mother, worried about being left behind by the herd, gave one last cry and walked away from her helpless baby.

A day passed and the little male's eyes blinked slowly open. Memory suddenly washed into his brain, and he tried to stand up. He wobbled a bit and fell back down. He cried out for his mother. "Are you there? Momma, help me!" the little deer gasped to hear this strange new language.

He looked down at himself, his legs were shorter, his head much bigger. He tried to stand again, on two legs, and fell back down.

He lay there, scared, and vulnerable. Tears filled his eyes.

In the distance, a different herd grazed. One mother had three babies, and she had to keep eating to make sure she could feed them. When she heard the poor little deer's cries, she walked toward the source curiously.

"Momma?" Chopper called excitedly.

_Did I have a fourth baby? He looks so strange… _The deer said.

"No, I'm your son, please help me," He begged.

The mother deer nudged Chopper with her nose to try and get him to stand on all fours.

Chopper tried to stand on two legs, but fell forward and shifted to walk point. This spooked the mother but she still led Chopper back with the herd.

The other deer in the herd watched him wearily. Chopper tried to remain unnoticed, but it backfired. He was mocked, teased, and was often beaten by the dominant male of the herd. All the mother could do was try to console Chopper.

One day Chopper was minding his own business when the dominant attacked him again.

Chopper was hit by the male's giant rack of antlers, and was launched twenty feet backward.

"What have I done this time?" Chopper asked angrily, wiping blood off his mouth.

_You need to get out, no one wants you here, _He said.

Chopper gave up. Clearly he was not wanted among his herd. Maybe he wasn't a deer at all. Maybe he belonged with someone else.

Chopper backed away from the herd. No one would miss him.

He walked through the snow covered forests. He asked several different herds of deer if he could belong with them. Every time he asked, however, they would deny him, and even chase him away, calling after him "freak! Freak!"

One day, Chopper came across a small town. It was filled with strange upright creatures. Chopper shifted into heavy point in hopes that he could be among these people, but when he approached one, the person screamed and shot at him. Chopper wailed in pain and grabbed his wounded his left arm. He ran away from the people who came after him. "Get him! Kill the freak!"

Chopper felt all alone in the world. No one loved him. Everyone wanted to hurt him.

Until that one day.

"Look at that guy, he looks like a monster!" a boy with a straw-hat exclaimed.

"I'm not a monster! I'm a reindeer!" Chopper yelled back to him, expecting him to scream and run away.

To Chopper's amazement, it seemed like the straw-hat kid only got more excited about him.

"Luffy, let's just go, this guy looks like a freak show," Nami tried to pull her captain along.

Chopper sniffled. Luffy shrugged Nami's hand off his shoulder and approached Chopper, "No, he's going to come with us."

"What?" Nami and Chopper both squeaked.

Luffy grinned and gave the surprised reindeer a bear hug. "He's so cool! I love him, let's keep him!"

Chopper didn't know what to say.

Nami sighed," Oh alright, but he better be house broken,"

"I'm not a pet!" Chopper protested.

"Of course not, you're an awesome talking reindeer!" Luffy gripped the deer harder.

"Praising me doesn't make me happy at all!" Chopper managed to choke out.

The End.

* * *

**A/N: I kept Dr. Hililuk out of the story on purpose because I would eventually sound like I'm just rewritting Chopper's past... Thanks for reading!**


	13. A baby In a Tree?

**Nursery Rhyme: Hush A Bye, Baby**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: well, supposed to be the entire crew, but Nami, Robin, Luffy, Zoro and Usopp have dialouge...**

**A/N: I don't think theres anything cracky, or relatively hilarious about this... I don't know, just a drabble.**

* * *

_Hush-a-bye baby..._

The crew walked along a quiet beach.

The beach was covered in random debris, from small decaying plants to large fallen trees.

"What happened here?" Zoro asked, slowly wandering away from the rest of the crew.

"Zoro, we're over here!" Nami called.

In the distance, they could hear a loud cry.

Curious, the strawhats approached the sound, the closer they got, the louder and more obnoxious it became.

"Shut up!" Luffy screamed at it.

_in the tree top..._

"Oh my gosh, is that a baby in the tree?" Usopp pointed to a tall palm tree. The crying grew louder.

"Well, a large hurricane did come through this island not too long ago," Nami said.

"With the slightest gust, the baby is going to fall. It probably won't make it either," Robin noted.

"Why do you have to be so morbid?" Zoro grumbled.

_When the wind blows..._

A sudden gust swept through the beach, everyone gasped.

_the cradle will rock..._

The cradle swiveled to one side of it's perch with a creak then swayed the other way with the wind.

_When the bough breaks..._

Suddenly, a loud crack, and a large branch that supported the heavy cradle gave way._  
_

_the cradle will fall, And down will come baby..._

The baby screamed.

"Luffy!" Nami shouted.__

cradle and all...

Luffy quickly stretched his arms out and caught the baby gently. He brought the baby back to him, holding it against his chest steadily.

Franky walked toward the fallen cradle to look at the damages. He quickly repaired it.

They laid the baby back in it's cradle and went to look for someone to take care of it.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, I'm actually running out of tales and rhymes to write about 0__o well, not to worry theres still a few I got left! Reviews apprectiated... unless they say something like this: Yyayz... ur story is ta shiiit.........!1! :P**


	14. Nami's Cold Splash of Reality

**Fairy Tale: A Christmas Carol**

**Rated: T**

**Cast: Nami, Bellemere, Nojiko, and the rest of the crew.**

**A/N: So I didn't really base this off of Christmas for a number of reasons, mostly due to the fact that Nami, although stingy, probably wouldn't turn down a Christmas party. Its summer, so a Christmas story now would be a bit awkward. And for readers who just aren't into Christmas.**

**A request from Francis Wolfang, Thank you! this is dedicated to you! (hooray for being special)**

* * *

Once Upon a Time..

Parties were nice, truly they were. But they were expensive as hell. Parties among the crew were fine once in a while, but Luffy seemed to always fine the dumbest reasons to drink all the grog, and eat all the food.

"Nami, we should throw a party," Luffy suggested to me one day, completely out of the blue.

I sigh, "Do you even have a good explanation as to why we should throw a party?"

Luffy held a finger to his chin and pondered, "We could…have a feast! For…" Luffy paused, looking around the ship for an idea. He looked up to the lookout of the _Thousand Sunny, _where Zoro was training,and smiled. "We'll celebrate Zoro's amazing swordsman skills!"

I held the bridge of my nose and tried to keep myself from strangling him, "Luffy, throwing a feast costs a lot of money. We should wait for a better reason for throwing a party."

Luffy huffed and skulked away, his shoulders looked like they were carrying a massive load.

There probably was nothing more depressing than seeing Luffy sigh like that, but he should be able to get over it in about five minutes.

And he did. The captain had showed is stupid puppy dog eyes to Zoro, and begged for a party. Zoro was such a softy on the inside. And He probably couldn't refuse the idea of a cold mug of beer.

So here we were, eating a giant meal, laughing, singing songs, and showing off the same chopsticks-in-the-nose gag, which, for some reason, never seemed to get old.

I had a good time, it was hard to grumble while eating Sanji-kun's amazing food, and watching Chopper freak out over the chopsticks being stuck in his nose. Unfortunately, after the party and cleaning up the mess, Sanji gave me the food stock results. We had lost about half our stock on that one dinner. It wasn't a crisis; we still had plenty of food until we reached the next island. But shopping was getting expensive.

And what does Luffy do the next day? He asks for another party.

"No Luffy! We don't need a party! It costs too much!" I scream at him.

Luffy lurched back in self-defense and stuck out his lower lip in a pout.

"In fact, we aren't going to have another party for a long time. Not until you're the pirate king! Now go spread the word!" I ordered.

Luffy didn't sulk like he did every other time. This time he truly looked horrified. Like a teenager being told he was grounded. He was completely amazed that I yelled at him.

He walked away, feeling dazed.

Everyone soon heard the news. Sanji and Robin acted normal, as usual. But everyone else seemed pretty upset. They tried to hide it, so they wouldn't face my wrath, but I could tell they were unhappy.

Soon, night fell and everyone slowly resided to their quarters.

With a final yawn I could feel my eyes droop and I finally drifted into sleep.

Dreams were usually a vague memory of my adoptive family, Bellemere and Nojiko, then the overpowering feeling of hatred. Arlong crept into my dreams all the time. Robin would usually shake me awake, to stop me from ripping my pillow apart.

"Nami…" a wispy voice called in my dream.

"What… Who said that?" I ask. I felt like I was floating in space.

"Remember when we used to have small parties to ourselves?" I could identify the voice.

"Bellemere?" I called to her.

"Nami, it's okay to save money, but you don't have to pay Arlong anymore, you can have some fun," She told me.

"You don't understand, It costs a lot to fill my captian's bottomless stomach," I explained.

Suddenly I was silenced. A scene flickered in front of me, and I immediately remembered it. This was a scene of our first dinner party with a guest, Genzo.

"Isn't this all a bit much?" Me, ten years ago, asked Bellemere.

"Nami, Genzo is practically a part of the family, we can spend some money on him," Bellemere said while putting roast beef inside the oven.

"But we're already poor enough, why can't he just serve us food?" I asked.

"Calm down Nami, we always have the mikans to eat," Nojiko smiled, walking through the front door with a basket of mikans.

Suddenly the memory flickered by and Bellemere, Genzo, and Nojiko disappeared.

I watched as different members of the crew came into view.

"Watch," Bellemere's voice told me.

This definitely wasn't a memory. I seemed almost as If I were there. In the galley, the tired crewmembers gathered. I stood in the corner of the large kitchen.

Usopp walked past me and slipped. I reached out to try and catch him, but he fell through my hands.

I gasped and looked down at them, they were strangely opaque.

"You're there, but they don't know it," I heard a voice whisper to me.

"Luffy, why did you wake us up?" Usopp asked the captain, rubbing the pain from his rump.

"I wanted to know what we should do about Nami," He said, completely serious.

"Without parties, life just isn't supah," Franky remarked.

"Are you really taking her seriously? The witch is probably just PMSing right now," Zoro said, his head resting on the table.

"Are you sure Zoro? She sounded pretty serious," Chopper considered.

"Nami-san is just angry that we blew off so much food, but I can pay for it." Sanji offered.

"You sure you could do that curly-cook? Your already deep in her debt," Zoro snorted, blocking a kick from said chef.

"What's with that debt anyways? Even if we killed ourselves for the bounty she wouldn't be happy," Usopp joked. No one laughed.

"That sounds pretty accurate," Brooke answered.

I was stunned. Was I really that bad? I wanted to protest, to defend myself. I looked at Sanji expectantly, he would always be the one to defend me. He said nothing.

Robin? No, nothing.

Suddenly the picture went fuzzy, and I felt like I was sent flying. Suddenly I was looking at myself. I looked much older, maybe late twenties to early thirties.

I sat on a couch, in the middle of a cold living room. The only noise was coming from a small radio set. It was playing the latest news.

"The infamous Straw hat Pirate Crew, have reportedly made it to Raftel. Their captain, Monkey D. Luffy, with a bounty of Nine hundred million beli, and his crew have found the former pirate king, Gol D. Roger's treasure."

I looked back at my older self. She remained still, sitting on the chair. She didn't cheer. A tear ran down her cheek.

I gasped as realization dawned on me. I had been kicked out of the crew.

"Do you see? Penny pinching is okay, but going overboard could have terrifying results," Bellemere explained.

I turned to her, "Please, let me go back! Let me wake up! I need to fix this before it gets out of hand! Before I-"I was choked off by tears.

Suddenly I felt someone shake me. I awoke with a start to see Robin's concerned face.

"Are you alright Nami-san?" She asked.

I gasped and looked around the room. It was the woman's quarters. I sighed in relief.

"Nami," Luffy touched my shoulder gently. I looked at him, frankly, scared of what he was about to say.

He had a serious face, I winced when he began to speak, "Can we please throw more parties? Please? We'll try to save more money next time! I won't eat thirty servings like I usually do!" He begged.

I looked at him and laughed anxiously, "You know what Luffy? Let's throw a party right now! It's fine, you guys can eat and drink as much as you want!"

"For real?"

"Ya and I'll cut your guy's debt in half too!" I couldn't believe what I was saying. But looking at Luffy's excited, and a little amazed, grin made it worthwhile.

We partied yet again, and I announced the debt cut to the rest of the crew. They fell silent with astonishment. Sanji's cigarette fell out of his mouth.

"Only half!" I said firmly. They smiled and continued the party.

The End.

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**A/N: I like this one. I guess I was in the mood to write a little more intellectually than usual, (for a parody at least). PLEASE REVIEW! muchas gracias!**


	15. Luffy and the Two Bears and a Reindeer

**Fairy Tale: Goldylocks and the Three Bears**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, and Chopper**

**A/N: So I read over the original story to make sure I didn't miss anything, and I realised that Goldylocks seems like a ditz, since she walked into a stranger's house, ate their food, broke thier chair, and slept in their bed. So I decided to over exagerate it in this parody! Enjoy!**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

One day, Luffy decided to frolic through the forest for no apparent reason. He came upon a small cottage and out of curiosity, approached the door and knocked on it.

No one seemed to be home. So, being a very impolite person, Luffy busted the door down and looked inside.

Suddenly his stomach growled and he sniffed the air, "Smells like someone was cooking!"

He approached the dining room table and noticed there were three random bowls of porridge sitting in a row.

Luffy tried one bowl and yelled, "Ouch this is too hot!"

He ate the porridge anyways.

Then he moved on to the next bowl and took a bite, "This is freaking frozen!"

He ate it anyways.

The last bowl of porridge was at a perfect temperature.

After rudely swallowing food that was not his, Luffy yawned and decided to go lounge in some stranger's chair.

He sat in one and disappeared inside the cushion, "This one is too cushy," Luffy exclaimed, wrenching himself from the couch's death grip.

He sat in another couch, but it wouldn't stop creaking. "This couch is too noisy."

So he sat in the last mini kid's chair that he barely managed to fit his butt into. "Ahh, even though I am way too big for this, it just feels right," But as he just started to relax in the chair, it broke in half.

Even though Luffy had just broken someone else's property without any reason, he went upstairs to do some more snooping.

He came across a large bedroom which contained three different beds. He suddenly had the urge to sleep, so he tried the one closest to him first. "This bed has springs sticking out of it."

So he moved on to the next one, "What the hell? This one has random pictures of women under the pillow!"

So he went to sleep in the very small bed that should have been the least comfortable.

Later that day while Luffy was sleeping, the three strangers who actually lived in the house came to their door.

"Okay who forgot to shut the door before we left?" Zoro-bear glared at Sanji-bear.

"Its obvious someone broke in shitty-bear!" Sanji-bear yelled.

Chopper-bear walked inside and noticed the three odd-temperature bowls of porridge were eaten.

"Who ate all of our porridge! And I'm not a bear! I'm a reindeer!" Chopper-bear pointed out.

Sanji-bear growled, "I worked hard on that so I could give it to Nami-Swan and Robin-Swan."

Then Chopper-bear looked into the living room and began to cry.

"Oi, what's wrong Chopper?" Zoro-bear asked while trying to comfort the small bear-reindeer.

"Someone broke my special chair!" Chopper-bear sobbed.

Sanji-bear heard loud snoring coming from upstairs. He grabbed the emergency pitchfork and motioned for Zoro-bear to come with him.

They entered their bedroom and watched Luffy snore loudly, feet dangling over the end of the small bed.

Sanji-bear poked Luffy awake with his pitchfork. "Ouch that hurts," Luffy exclaimed.

He stared at the bears with horror and ran out of the cottage, never to return again, or to apologize for the destruction of their property.

The End.

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**A/N: Yes I made Sanji say "Robin-swan" on purpose. Why? Cuz their swans! Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	16. A Pain in the Foot

**Fairy Tale: Little Mermaid**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Keimi, Hatchan, Pappug, Otcopako, and some old lady I made up on the fly.**

**Spoilers: If you know any of the people listed above, then don't read.**

**A/N: Yes this is a special chapter that took a little more time. please enjoy!**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

In her childhood, Keimi could recall the first time she had seen what was above the ocean's surface. There were the most beautiful twinkling stars in the night sky and a small ship rocking dangerously from side to side in the mountainous waves.

On the small ship was a strange looking person who had six arms and two limbs that kept him upright. Keimi had heard stories about people on the surfaces with "two fins" which allowed them to tread on land.

But this guy was different. He looked like an octopus.

The waves grew larger and larger until the small boat capsized. Octopuses could swim and live under water, right?

The man fell out of the ship and splashed in the water. He didn't surface.

Keimi quickly dived under water and dodged past broken pieces of ship. She caught up with the peculiar man and dragged him to the surface. He was unconscious, but not from lack of oxygen, he had hit his head. There was a large egg shaped bump on his forehead.

Keimi lugged the octopus-man to a nearby shore and propped his arms to cradle his injured head.

Soon enough, another human came along and noticed him. Keimi watched from a safe distance as two humans dragged the unconscious man into shelter.

The island looked as beautiful as the starry night. It had many glimmering lights of any color imaginable. She heard laughter from young humans coming from a spinning machine with strange looking animals. She had never seen these creatures before. The young people rode these strange animals, bobbing up and down, and around in a circle.

If only she could ride it. It looked so beautiful and fun. If only she had two fins like the man she saved.

Keimi returned to her home in Fishman Island, where a worried Pappug questioned about where she had been.

"You were supposed to see the surface and come right back, why did you take so long?"

Keimi sighed longingly, "I saved a two-finned man from drowning, but he never thanked me." She swam into her room and shut the door. She wanted to be alone, to dream of being on land.

The next day, Keimi went in search of the man she saved with Pappug tagging along beside her to keep an eye on her.

While they swam to the island, a giant sea boar swam behind them and swallowed them whole.

The two went tumbling into the sea boar's stomach.

"What happened, I can't see a thing," Pappug panicked.

"It stinks in here," Keimi commented, not realizing the situation.

There was a sudden lurch and the stomach rumbled with the sea boar's cries. It had been eaten by and even larger sea king.

Moments later, the larger sea king shook with loud roars and spat out the sea boar. The smaller sea king also bellowed and ejected Keimi and Pappug.

The two stumbled out of the sea boar's mouth and held their heads to feign off dizziness.

"You guys alright?" Hatchan asked.

Keimi looked up at her rescuer and gasped.

* * *

"Hatchin, how did you ever get your legs?" Keimi asked her beloved friend, while preparing more takoyaki for the Straw hat pirates.

"What are ya talking about? I was born with these," Hatchan wiggled his limbs for emphasis.

"So how come I wasn't born with legs?"

Hatchan looked for the right words, "Don't you think it's better to have a tail fin anyways? You can stay on land and swim really fast underwater,"

"But you can too," Keimi pointed out bitterly.

Hatchan looked away from Keimi and tried to change the subject, "You guys ready for more takoyaki?"

"Yesh pwease," Luffy asked with his mouth full.

Hatchan smiled and piled more of the delicious octopus fritters on a tray and gave it to the bottomless pit of a captain.

After the crew had departed, Hatchan, Keimi, and Pappug relaxed and ate some takoyaki themselves.

"Remember back at Sabody Park? That was probably the best time of my life," Keimi smiled.

"Ya that was pretty fun, wasn't it?" Hatchan laughed.

"It would probably have been better if I could have walked," Keimi huffed.

Hatchan glowered at Keimi, "You know what? If you suddenly want legs that badly we should just find someone to help us,"

Keimi beamed at Hatchan and giggled, "Really? Thank you Hatchin!"

"Wait, how are we supposed to give her legs? That's not possible," Pappug interjected.

"I've seen people with strange talents," Hatchan explained, lifting the small anchor out of the water.

The three sailed back toward Fishman Island and anchored the boat. They swam downward until they found a large underwater cave in the red line.

Hatchan swam ahead to see if anyone was inside. He then beckoned for the other two to come in.

Inside the cave lived an elderly fishwoman that resembled a Blue-finned Elephant Tuna.

She looked truly horrid, she had a longer nose than Usopp, two large horns just above her two large lips, and her ears hung like two giant sacks.

The old fishwoman smiled a menacing smile, "Who are your friends, Hatchan?"

Hatchan cleared his throat and introduced Keimi and Pappug. Keimi mustered a small grin and shook the fishwoman's hand.

"Hello Keimi and Pappug, I'm Renu, you came here for some help?"

"Yes, Keimi has been wishing for a pair of fishwoman legs," Hatchan explained.

"That would be strange, Keimi would look more of a human than a fishwoman, is that truly what you would want?" Renu asked, looking over Keimi.

Keimi gulped, "Of course, I've wanted legs since I was little."

"Then I must warn you, developing legs will not be entirely pleasant," Renu said solemnly.

"What do you mean?" Pappug asked.

"When she grows these unnatural legs, she will be able to walk on land and swim under water, but with every step, and every stroke, her feet will feel as if they are being stabbed," Renu explained.

Keimi gaped with her trademark look.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Pappug said.

"If you don't want to endure that pain, you'll be stuck with that fin forever on," Renu persuaded.

Hatchan tried to convince her to leave the deal, "Keimi, it's okay to have a fin, that's who you are."

Keimi mustered a small amount of confidence, "No, I can endure the pain. I want to be able to walk."

With a grin, Renu slipped away into the deep darkness of the cave, she came back with a vile of a strange liquid.

"Swim to dry land and drink this, but be warned, when you drink this, it will feel as if you're being cut in half," Renu explained.

Keimi gulped and left the cave, Hatchan and Pappug followed behind.

"Are you really sure about this?" Pappug asked.

"There's nothing I could want more," Keimi answered.

"You'll be in so much pain though," Hatchan said uneasily.

"It _will _be worth it," Keimi insisted.

They swam back to the _Takoyaki 8 _and as soon as Keimi sat on the deck, she took a large gulp from the vile. She gagged on the terrible taste and howled in pain. Hatchan was immediately at her side, trying anything to make her more comfortable.

Keimi's screams eventually became quiet sobs, and she soon fell unconscious.

In the morning, Keimi was the first to wake up. She quickly looked down at her lower half and gasped to see two limbs. She wiggled her toes and laughed. Hatchan and Pappug awoke from the sound of their friend's laughter and gasped when they saw Keimi try to stand.

She set her feet on the ground and winced. It felt like a she was walking on needles. Never the less, she absolutely adored her new way of transportation.

She walked, ran, skipped, danced, anything that she couldn't possibly do before.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Pappug asked.

"It hurts terribly, but I'm so happy!"

Hatchan grinned, "Let's go back to Sabody park then. You can finally be on your own,"

Keimi gasped in delight. Finally her life-long dream to ride the carousel without anyone's help, or something to cover her up, would be fulfilled.

Unfortunately, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

On the way to the island, Hatchan couldn't believe his eyes. Walking on the shores of the red line was his darling Octopako.

Immediately the ship was turned toward the shore, and Hatchan practically leaped over to her.

"Octopako, where have you been?" Hatchan asked.

"You with the takoyaki stand? What's a guy like _you_ doing on a nice beach like this?" Octopako asked snobbishly.

"I just wanted to see you," Hatchan said.

"Well don't flatter yourself. How about you get me some of that takoyaki of yours?" Octopako asked.

Within minutes Hatchan leapt back to the ship and started to prepare takoyaki.

"Hatchin, you shouldn't make food for her, she's always mean to you," Keimi warned.

"Maybe she'll accept me if I make her some of our amazing takoyaki," Hatchan hoped.

"She's only going to hurt you," Keimi insisted.

"Hey, who's the freak with the legs? Is she human? You know how I feel about humans Hatchan," Octopako spat at her.

"She's Keimi, I think you've met her before," Hatchan introduced again.

"Oh yes, the little runt that got traded by Hatchan for a map," Octopako sneered.

"Hatchan still saved me and Pappug afterwards, he would never just abandon us," Keimi argued.

"Whatever, he would probably trade you for me any day, isn't that right Hatchan?"

Hatchan looked between them, disturbed by the sudden turn in the conversation, "I wouldn't want to pick between the two of you."

"Hatchin! She's evil and mean to all of us," Keimi tried to convince.

"No she's not, she just had some bad days is all," Hatchan denied.

Keimi groaned and turned toward the island. She didn't want to argue anymore. "I'm going to try out my new legs," She said and dived over the edge of the boat.

"Keimi," Pappug and Hatchan called after her, but she swam toward the island and dug her toes in the sand at the shore.

"Who needs her anyways," Octopako huffed.

Keimi treaded through the sand, still wincing from the pain.

'_It's so nice to be able to walk, but I was hoping the three of us would be able to go to the amusement park. Why did that stuffy little octopus have to pop up and demand takoyaki from Hatchin like that?' _Keimi sighed. All this drama wasn't her thing.

"Maybe if I hadn't gotten these legs in the first place, Hatchin would have never seen Octopako," Keimi thought out loud. Suddenly an idea came to her.

She dived back into the sea and swam back to where Renu lived.

"What's wrong dear, not quite loving your legs anymore?"

"No, there fine, but I was just wondering if I could switch back." Keimi asked.

"You can, but only if you win over Hatchan again," Renu said.

"How did you know- what do you mean by winning him over?" Keimi asked startled.

"He is your friend, right? But that friendship has been lost because of Octopako, I will give you your fin back, but it will disappear again if you don't prove that you have won Hatchan over by killing the fishwoman," Renu said menacingly.

Keimi gasped, "I can't kill her! Even if she's mean,"

"You'll do it, or you will have to endure the extreme pain of your two legs," Renu pointed out. She changed Keimi's legs into a fin, and instantly Keimi sighed with the relief of the pain.

"Now go, and bring back the body of Octopako before sun rise tomorrow," Renu ordered.

When Keimi swam back to the surface, she realized that night had already fallen.

She quietly boarded the _Takoyaki 8 _and noted that all three passengers had already fallen asleep.

She moved toward the counter, where Octopako was asleep, sitting in one of the stools.

Hatchan stirred and awoke, "Keimi?"

Keimi froze, "Umm, no? I'm not Keimi."

"I know it's you, why do you have a fin again?" Hatchan rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Keimi started to cry, "I- I was going to do horrible things to Octopako, Hatchin. I don't get to keep my fin unless I bring her body back to Renu and prove that you're my friend again," She whispered between sobs.

Hatchan was slightly shocked, but he quickly tried to calm Keimi down.

"You've been my friend this whole time Keimi, and if Renu wants Octopako, then we should bring her to the cave," Hatchan grinned. Keimi looked up at him curiously.

Later that morning, just before the sun rose, Hatchan and Keimi swam back to Renu with a sleeping Octopako in tow.

"Here is Octopako's body, sorry I couldn't kill her, and me and Hatchin are friends again, see?" Keimi claimed as the two friends hugged.

"Very well then, you get to keep your fin, but you may never have legs again," Renu allowed and watched as the two swam away.

The end.

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**A/N: This may not be relevant, but I just found out that Sanji's VA was also a voice for Jack Sparrow in a Pirates of the Caribbean Japanese dub! I just think thats made of win :P Reviews are also made of win! :D**


	17. Yet ANOTHER Tragic Fall

**Nursery Rhyme: Humpty Dumpty**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: The Crew**

**A/N: Yes, this one happens to be a bit cracky (ahh that word again) as well. Enjoy!**

_

* * *

_

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall…

"Oi, I think I can see our ship from here," Luffy called down to his crew, standing on the edge of one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

"Luffy, get off the great wall of China before you break it!" Nami called up to him._  
_

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall..._

Up so high, there was a large gust of wind that messed up Luffy's balance.

He waved his arms wildly to try to keep his feet on the stone, but his footing betrayed him and he fell of the edge.

He turned in midair and stretched his arm to catch himself, but his grasp fell short of a few inches.

Luffy landed with a loud thud onto the ground below.

"Luffy!" everyone cried in unison. They ran toward their captain.

Chopper placed an ear on his Luffy's chest, "He doesn't have a heart beat!"

_All the king's horses and all the king's men…_

Suddenly Luffy came to, "Do I even have any horses?"

"You're okay!" Chopper squealed in delight.

Then Luffy died again.

_Couldn't put Humpty together again..._

"What just happened?" Zoro bellowed.

"Chopper, Fix him!" Usopp cried.

Tears ran down Chopper's cheeks, "He died on impact, I can't save him."

"But he just spoke!" Sanji said.

Luffy awoke again, "I'm just kidding guys, April Fools!" He joked.

"It's not April Fool's Day!" Everyone roared and hit their captain.

* * *

**A/N: I was a wimp today so I decided to not make this a death drabble, and it would be weird to write a death/parody fic. right? Reviews are appreciated!**

**Happy Memorial Day!**


	18. Acceptance and a Metamorphosis

**Fairy Tale: The Princess and the Frog**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Nami, Nojiko, Bellemere, and Chopper**

**A/N: This may be a bit confusing, but the story takes place in Cocoyashi, and Nami and Chopper are supposedly 5-6, Nojiko being a few years older. Chopper is not a doctor yet. Arlong not included. Ya dig?**

* * *

Once Upon a Time…

Nami strode between mikan bushes, gazing over the ripest of the citric fruit. She picked a large and juicy mikan and continued her walk a bout, tossing the fruit into the air and catching it.

She was only allowed to walk to the pond near Bellemere's house, Nojiko, being a much older than Nami, could go much farther than she could.

When Nami had reached the pond, she sat by it and started peeling the mikan.

While trying to get nail into the peel, it slipped out of Nami's hands and rolled away under a bush.

"Ah man, I wasted the best mikan," Nami groaned.

She stood up to go retrieve her snack, but a small upright deer came out from behind the bushes shyly, holding the mikan between his hooves.

"Hey that's mine! Give it back," Nami yelled at Chopper.

He gulped and looked down at his feet, "I was just picking it up for you."

Nami jumped back in surprise, "It talks!"

Chopper dropped the mikan in surprise as well, and lurched behind the bushes again, "Don't hurt me!"

Nami bent down to pick up the fruit, "I wasn't going to, it's just you're a weirdo," Nami pointed out bluntly.

Chopper scuffed his hoof in the dirt and said quietly, "Is it okay if I have that orange?"

Nami scowled, "It's a mikan, and why should I give you it?"

"Because I'm hungry," He said slowly.

Nami frowned and looked at the dirty mikan in her hands. She walked over to Chopper and dropped it on his head playfully, "I guess, we have a lot more back at home."

Chopper smiled and ate the mikan quickly, peel and all.

"So what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with a herd or something?" Nami asked, looking around for said herd.

"I'm not normal enough to be in a herd," Chopper said sullenly.

"What about people then? Do you have a family?" Nami asked.

Chopper sniffed, "No," He looked into Nami's eyes, "Can I be in your family?"

"What makes you think we could keep you? We can barely afford to live ourselves," Nami answered.

Chopper sniffled.

Nami groaned, "Aright, alright, don't cry 'kay? I'll have to ask Bellemere-san," Nami permitted.

Chopper wiggled with excitement, "This doesn't make me happy at all! Not at all!"

"You look happy," Nami giggled. She took Chopper's hoof and led him back to the little cottage, where Bellemere was preparing lunch.

"Bellemere-san, is it okay if we have a guest for lunch?" Nami asked, walking inside with a nervous Chopper in tow.

"Who's our guest?" Bellemere asked, stirring a pot of vegetable stew.

"This little guy, he said he doesn't belong anywhere, isn't that terrible?" Nami pushed Chopper forward.

Bellemere looked over her shoulder down at the little reindeer, who whimpered at the unwanted attention.

Bellemere smiled, "You're a little cutie, aren't you," She patted his head. "He can stay as long as he wants," She allowed, returning to her cooking.

Chopper gasped and looked at Nami, who gave him a thumbs up.

At the dining table, lunch was as normal as if a talking reindeer wasn't sitting and eating with them.

Nojiko looked bewildered when she first noticed Chopper, but dismissed his strangeness politely.

After lunch Nami and Nojiko went outside to pick mikans that were ripe for harvesting. Chopper stayed inside and helped clean the dirty dishes.

After the chores he poked around the small house curiously. Once the house had been mapped out in his head, Chopper found himself rather bored.

"Hey Chopper, do you have nothing to do?" Bellemere asked, noticing Chopper laying on the ground and staring up at the ceiling.

"No, do you want me to clean something?" Chopper offered.

"No, but how about you come here into the kitchen, I got something for you that might be fun," Bellemere motioned for him to follow her.

Chopper trotted into the kitchen and sat at the table expectantly. Bellemere paced a small paperback book on the table and a box of crayons.

"Go ahead and look through the coloring book, and after you color it, I'll put it on the fridge here. This is Nojiko's favorite thing to do, and it almost seems like she erupts with pride when I put her pictures on the fridge," Bellemere chuckled.

Chopper looked through the pictures in the book and chose a picture of a kid dressed as a doctor, taking care of a little dog.

When Chopper finished his art, he held it toward Bellemere giddily.

"That's real nice Chopper, do want to be a doctor or a vet one day?" Bellemere grinned and hung it on the fridge with a mikan magnet.

"I don't really know what a doctor does, but I would love to help sick people," Chopper smiled.

That night Bellemere set up a pillow and blanket on the only small couch they had. But in the middle of the night Chopper walked into Nami and Nojiko's bedroom.

Nami stirred awake and sat up in her bed, "Chopper? What are you doing in here?"

Chopper jumped at the sound of her voice and looked at her guiltily, "I heard a coyote outside so I came into here."

Nami sighed, "Here, we can share a bed tonight."

"Really? I can just sleep on the floor," Chopper insisted.

"I mean it, come sleep in my bed," Nami patted the open spot next to her.

Chopper hopped up onto the bed and tucked himself under the comforter, "Thank you, for everything."

"Who ever said this was free? You now owe my family two thousand beli," Nami grinned evilly.

"What? I can't afford that!" Chopper squeaked.

"I'm just kidding, good night Chopper," Nami giggled. Chopper heaved a sigh of relief and nestled into his pillow.

"Goodnight."

The End.

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**A/N: I know the main "frog is supposed to turn into a handsome prince" thing, but I felt half and half on the subject. On one side, Chopper should always be the cute reindeer we all know and love, the other, It would be cool to write about Chopper becoming human. So I chose to write and alternate ending!"**

**

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**

"I'm just kidding, good night Chopper," Nami giggled. Chopper heaved a sigh of relief and nestled into his pillow.

When the sun slowly crept above the horizon, Chopper's eyes blinked awake. He left Nami's bed, making sure he didn't bother her awake again, and walked back to the living room.

His stomach growled, and just outside the front window was rows of mikan trees. Chopper walked outside and looked for a ripe fruit. Just as he picked one, someone grabbed him by the scruff of his borrowed shirt.

"Bellemere!" Chopper held his hands up in surrender.

"Dirty thief, I haven't seen your face around this town," Bellemere hissed.

"What are you talking about! It's me, Chopper!" Chopper's arms flailed. Then he saw it, his hands, not hoofs. His feet, not hoofs. His stomach, belly button, the human nose, the human hair, in a messy long brunette.

"What happened to me?" Chopper screamed.

Bellemere set Chopper down and gave him a strange look, "That's really you Chopper?"

"I don't even know," He said, looking at his hands in shock.

Bellemere grinned, "I guess you truly belong with us now, Chopper, I am an adoptive mother after all."

"But how did I-"

"You must have gone through a metamorphosis. Don't ask me how it works, but our love, Nami's acceptance, it changed you."

"So now, I can really be a member of the family?" Chopper smiled at Bellemere.

"You already were," Bellemere hugged him.

The End. Again! Reviews are appreciated as always!


	19. The Helpful Fairy

**Fairy Tale: The Honest Woodcutter**

**Rated: T**

**Cast: Nami, Sanji, Luffy, Zoro, and a bit of Franky**

**A/N: Another request from Francis Wolfang, thanks a lot! Enjoy!**

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Once Upon a Time…

Nami lay on a lawn chair on the grassy deck of the _Thousand Sunny_, absorbing the sun's warmth. She inhale and huffs quickly, a sure sign of her annoyance.

Sitting on the railing, with their feet dangling over the edge, was the monster trio, Zoro, Sanji and Luffy, bruised and bloody from the previous beating they had received from Nami.

The three had gotten into another uncanny wrestling match over the last piece of meat, and in the end wound up tipping a hot cup of tea on Nami's favorite shirt and the map she had painstakingly worked on for hours.

Luffy sighed while he held a fishing rod, "How long until I can go explore the island with the others?"

"Until you've caught enough fish to feed this crew three times," Nami repeated.

"Nami-swan is so lovely when she is annoyed, I am so incredibly sorry," Sanji apologized once again.

"Witch, keeping all three of us here, fishing with no bait," Zoro grumbled under his breath.

"What did you call Nami-swan, shitty marimo?" Sanji attempted to kick said man.

Nami punched Sanji and Zoro in the back of the head "No more fighting!"

While the two men rubbed their heads and Luffy sighed as he tugged on his fishing pole, a mysterious creature approached the docked _Thousand Sunny_.

It stood on two legs, and with its arms, the rather small creature pushed the entire boat over toward the sea.

Luffy was the first to fall into the water. He attempted to grab Sanji's arm to steady himself, but only dragged Sanji into the sea with him. Zoro tried to catch both of them, but with another giant lurch from the ship, he too fell into the water.

Nami hugged herself to the side railing. "Shit, I need to get Luffy out of the water first."

The ship gave another lurch and started to drift away from the island. Nami looked back toward the sandy shores and gasped at the small creature who looked like it was laughing.

"Crap, now I don't know where the others landed in the water, and the ship's going to drift too far from the island!"

Suddenly a small fairy floated from the water. "Can I be of assistance?"

"You'll help me? Then could you try to get my captain out of the water?"

With a nod, the fairy dived back under the water and brought out Sanji from the water's grasp.

"Is this him?" The fairy asked.

"No that's our chef," Nami said.

"Nami-swa-"Sanji began, but was dropped back into the water.

The fairy dived back down and brought up Zoro, "Is this him?"

"Oi, Who the hell are you?" Zoro asked the fairy, flailing his arms and legs.

"No that's just an idiot," Nami said with mild distaste.

The fairy dropped Zoro back into the water and at last brought Luffy to the surface, "This must be him,"

"Yes that's Luffy, can you bring him to the ship?" Nami asked.

The fairy floated Luffy to the deck and dropped him, "I'll go retrieve the others, since you were so nice."

"Thank you so much," Nami smiled.

By the time Luffy spat out the sea water and came to, the others were back on deck.

"Sanji, steer us back to the dock and make sure were are tied down firmly," Nami ordered, "Zoro, I want you to cut the shit outta the creature that had the nerve to push us."

The Sunny was steered successfully back to the dock, and the creature who pushed it originally ran for its life as an angry Zoro flailed his swords at it.

"Oi, it looks like you guys had a lot of fun," Franky said as he came back to the ship. Nami glared at him.

"What did I say?"

The End.

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**A/N: Way to go Franky! X3 By the way, the little creature doesn't really have any identity, but I picture it as the crab wearing a bikini on a comercial for Discovery Channel... Don't ask. please. haha, reviews are appreciated - indeed!**


	20. Brook's Magical Tea Expedition

**Fairy Tale: The Legend of the Big Dipper**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Brook, Sanji, Robin and Luffy**

**A/N: A story request from Taryn Streambattle, hope you enjoy! **

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Once Upon a Time…

The _Thousand Sunny _was docked at a deserted island. The crewmembers of the ship were all worried, especially the chef and the navigator.

Their food, water and money stock was running extremely low. They planned on restocking the kitchen by foraging fruits and vegetables, and hunting.

Brook came into the galley in search of supplies to make his precious tea. After locating a packet of hibiscus flavored tea, and a cup and saucer, he reached for the teapot and placed it in the sink. He turned the faucet on, but no water came out.

"Sanji-san, Is the faucet broken?" Brook asked.

"No, we're out of clean water. You'll just have to wait until we haul in some fresh water tomorrow," Sanji replied while preparing a fruit salad for Nami and Robin.

"But I _need _tea Sanji-san, have you seen me without my tea?" Brook insisted.

Sanji looked up at the skeleton, "No…"

"It's not pretty," Brook shook his head.

"Then just go haul some tea yourself," Sanji said while handing the skeleton a tin dipper.

"Why can't I just take a bucket or something?" Brook asked, looking down at the tiny thing in his hand.

"Just go get some water," Sanji ordered, not quite sure why he gave Brook the dipper.

Brook shrugged and left the galley in search of some fresh water form a river.

After wandering about the island for an hour, Brook finally found a small stream. He filled the dipper to the brim and began walking back toward the _Sunny_.

Unfortunately for him, the road was filled with bumps, rocks, and tree roots. Brook couldn't help but spill most of the water.

There was a small tug on Brook's pant leg. He turned and saw a small dog like creature with panda fur. It whimpered and tried to drink from the dipper. Brook sighed and allowed the thirsty animal to drink what little water he had left.

Magically, after the Panda-dog had its fill, the tin dipper transformed into a silver dipper and was full to the brim once again.

"Yoho…" Brook gasped. The Panda-dog barked.

Brook left the dog and continued walking until he ran into a familiar face.

"Oh, skeleton-san, what are you doing out here?" Robin asked.

"I went to go fetch some freshwater so I can make my tea," Brook held the silver dipper in front of her.

"Do you mind if I had a drink?" Robin asked.

"Only If I may see your panties," Brook answered. Suddenly the silver cup changed back into a tin cup, and the water disappeared.

Brook looked down into the empty container, jaw dropped.

"Well that was strange, I guess you'll have to go fetch some more water," Robin stifled a giggle.

Brook sighed and walked all the way back to the river, refilled it, and returned to Robin.

"Now may I have a drink?" Robin asked again.

Without another word Brook offered the dipper to her.

As Robin drank, the dipper changed once again, this time, into a gold dipper.

"Thank you skeleton-san," Robin gave him back the water. He peered inside the dipper and noted that it was still completely full.

Brook waved goodbye to Robin and continued his walk back to the ship. He wasn't far; he could see it looming on the horizon.

Once Brook reached the ship and managed to get aboard without spilling the water, Luffy caught him.

"Oi Brook, I'm really really thirsty," Luffy held his tongue out of his mouth for emphasis.

Brook once again allowed his captain a drink from the dipper. It changed into a clear diamond dipper, and rose out of Luffy's hands and into the sky. It turned into a large constellation of stars that looked like the little dipper.

"Wow, that was really cool! Thanks for the water," Luffy smiled.

Brook grinned and stared at the twinkling stars.

"… wait, what about my tea?"

The end.

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**A/N: Oh gosh, now Brook is gonna go crazy without his tea and terrorize the crew!**

**Lol, that would be a good drabble plot... any takers?**

**Reviews = rainbows and butterflies!**


	21. Elegance, and Stupidity

**Fairy Tale: The Emperor's New Clothes**

**Rated: T (for cussing and nudity -like that matters-)**

**Spoiler Warning: If you haven't gotten past the Sabaody Archipelago arc, or do not know what predicament Sanji is in at the moment, please feel free to skip this chapter.**

**A/N: Ahahaha! This was fun to write. Enjoy!**

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_Once Upon a Time…_

It was unbelievable, both disturbing and impossibly hilarious at the same time.

"Oi, who's that over there?" Franky asked, pointing toward the horizon.

"It looks like a lady… sorta," Luffy said.

In the distance, a feminine-looking person trotted toward the crew, waving her arm in the air.

"Do we know that person?" Nami asked.

"Why yes, we know him very well," Robin tried not to chuckle.

The person continued running, getting close enough to allow the crew to see him in detail.

"She has really long curly blond hair," Chopper squinted.

"I wonder if I may see her panties," Brook thought out loud.

"Wait a second, something familiar is on her forehead," Zoro said.

Usopp lowered one of his goggles over his eye and developed a cold sweat on his fingertips, "It's a…curly eyebrow."

"What? That can't be the ero-cook," Zoro turned away from the oncoming person.

"Uh, Zoro?" Chopper started backing away.

"What?" Zoro asked. Before Chopper could warn him, Zoro was tackled from behind and grouped together with other crew members in a giant bear hug.

"I missed you guys sooo much!" Sanji smiled lipstick and all.

The crew said nothing.

"You're so happy that you're speechless," Sanji said.

A shiver ran up Zoro's spine, "Get the hell off me!" He shoved Sanji back, disturbed by the turn of events.

"Sanji-kun, what happened to you?" Nami asked with astonishment.

Sanji grinned and took Nami's hands in his, "They have changed me, Nami-san. I am a new woman! You may call me Sanji-chan."

Nami grimaced, "Do you need to be slapped back to normal?"

"How could you say such a thing," Sanji released her hands and turned to the rest of the crew. They all took a step backwards in response.

"Captain-san, are you not glad to see me?" Sanji asked.

"Why are you dressed like a princess?" Luffy asked, tilting his head.

"Oh! A princess? I feel so touched," Sanji twirled on his toes, much like Bon Kurei would, "Wait, is Brook okay?"

Brook, on his hands and knees, practically dry heaving, managed to speak, "I can't…believe…I was going… to ask to see his panties…"

Days passed, and after trying every plan the crew could think of, Sanji would not revert back to his suit-wearing, skirt chasing, self.

Zoro tried a risky maneuver of throwing the food Sanji had painstakingly made on the ground. Normally that would have gotten a swift fiery kick to the face, but the okama Sanji simply said "oh dear," and went to clean it up.

Nami tried flirting; even planting a kiss on Sanji's cheek, but that was only received as a "girlfriend" expressing her affection for her friend.

They were even desperate enough to threat Sanji into going right back to the Baratie and making the owner of the restaurant, Chef Zeff, kick his ass. Sanji simply laughed and waved it off.

"Oi Zoro," Usopp nudged the sleeping man awake with the front of his shoe.

Zoro opened one eye, "You have another idea?"

"Yup, but it's going to take some good acting," Usopp grinned devilishly.

Sanji was in the galley, preparing snacks. Not for the ladies, but for the men of the crew. It was so backwards that Luffy even refused to eat the snacks, and opted to let Sanji give them to Nami and Robin.

He twirled around the kitchen as he cooked, when Zoro and Usopp strolled in quietly.

"Hello gentlemen, your snack will be ready in just a few moments," Sanji smiled.

"Actually Sanji-"

"Sanji-chan," Sanji corrected.

Usopp tried hard not to gag, "Sanji-chan, we have something that you might like," Usopp began.

"Is that so?" Sanji asked intrigued.

"Yes, It's a beautiful dress that is invisible to those who don't have a good fashion sense." Usopp lied confidently.

"Really, may I see it?" Sanji asked.

"Of course, you'll just have to follow me to your room," Usopp beckoned for Sanji to follow him.

They walked into the woman's quarters, where Sanji insisted he should stay, and opened up a large dresser.

"Zoro, if you will," Usopp motioned for Zoro to remove the made believe dress.

Zoro shrugged and reached inside the dresser. He pretended to grasp something and pulled it out of the dresser.

"Isn't it lovely?" Usopp asked.

Sanji paused, he obviously couldn't see it, but he wasn't going to admit that to the two men.

"It is indeed, I love the colors," Sanji lied. Usopp and Zoro stifled a snicker.

"You have to try it on then," Zoro said.

"A-Are you sure?" Sanji stuttered.

"Definitely, it would look absolutely beautiful on you," Usopp confirmed.

So Sanji pretended to put it on, but it didn't seem to cover him. It looked like he wasn't wearing any clothes at all. 'Well, I guess I can't see it, but the others will.' He thought.

Reluctantly, Sanji walked out of the woman's quarters where Zoro and Usopp were waiting.

"Well, how do I look?" Sanji asked.

Zoro couldn't help but laugh. He covered his mouth with his hand.

"You look great," Usopp spoke out of the corner of his mouth, holding back from joining Zoro in his laughter.

Sanji walked about the ship, receiving questionable feedback for the rest of the crew.

"Oi Sanji, you look stunning today," Franky laughed.

"Isn't it breezy today?" Chopper asked with a snicker.

"Uhh, I guess," Sanji said.

"Sanji, are you drunk or something?" Luffy asked.

"No, why?"

"You're not wearing any-" Luffy was cut off by Usopp, who covered his mouth and dragged him away from Sanji.

The day carried on with Sanji unknowingly parading around the ship in the buff.

Until finally Robin spoke up, "Chef-chan, are you aware that you are naked?"

"No, I am clothed by a beautiful dress that only people with elegant style can see," Sanji claimed and posed to show off the dress.

"Who, may I ask, gave you that dress?"

"Zoro-kun and Usopp-kun," Sanji said.

"Do you really think they have elegant style?" Robin asked.

Sanji paused.

"Bastards!" He roared and kicked Usopp through the railing and off the ship. He then threw another kick at Zoro, who blocked it with one of his katana.

"Welcome back, Ero-cook," Zoro grinned.

"Glad to be back, shitty marimo," Sanji hissed.

The End.

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**A/N: Ahh Sanji. The poor guy has the worst luck. I can't wait to see how his time on Kamabakka Kingdom turns out :D**

**Until next time! reviews are so appreciated, they make me smile in my sleep!**


	22. The Thousand Sunny on Fire

**Nursery Rhyme: Ladybird Ladybird Fly Away Home**

**Rated: K**

**Cast: Luffy and Chopper**

**A/N: Why are Mother Goose nursery rhymes all so morbid? Enjoy!**

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_Once Upon a Time…_

_Ladybug ladybug fly away home…_

"Look over there, something's on fire," A random person pointed toward the _Thousand Sunny._

Luffy turned toward the direction the person was pointing. A giant cloud of smoke extended toward the sky and originated from his ship.

Without a moment to think, Luffy began sprinting toward the docks.

_Your house in on fire and your children are gone…_

At a closer view, it seemed like there was no one on the ship. Luffy sighed with a small amount of relief. At least no one else was in danger.

_All except one and that's little Ann…_

"Help! Someone help! I can't swim!" Chopper screamed from the edge of the ship, Luffy's eyes widened in shock.

He stretched his arms in front of him and grabbed the edge of the dock and pulled himself back until his arms were taut. Then he launched himself toward the ship.

The _Thousand Sunny's _deck was masked with smoke. Luffy coughed violently when he tried to inhale the thick black air.

"Chopper," Luffy called, "Where are you?"

Chopper yelled help in response and led Luffy to the kitchen.

_For she crept under the frying pan._

Inside the galley, Chopper was holding a frying pan over his head, and trying to put out the flames from Sanji's giant industrial sized oven to no avail.

Luffy turned on a faucet and weaved his fingers into a giant basket and filled them with water, then doused the flames quickly.

Once the fire was out, Luffy scooped Chopper into his arms and ran back toward the deck.

"Chopper, why did you have a frying pan on your head?"

Chopper looked at the cooking utensil in his hoof skeptically, "I don't really know."

"Well, I'm glad you were on the ship to help put out the flames," Luffy grinned.

"I was about to become barbequed reindeer in there," Chopper yelled.

"That sounds really yummy," Luffy licked his lips.

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**A/N: I'm going to be truthful here, this one isn't one of my top favorites. Oh well, more will come in a few days. See you then!**


	23. Diamond Studded Mittens

**Nursery Rhyme: Three Little Kittens**

**Rated: K+ (small dose of cursing)**

**Cast: The Mugiwaras! :D**

**A/N: Another request from Francis Wolfang! Thank you ^-^**

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__Once Upon a Time..._

_Three little kittens,  
They lost their mittens,  
And they began to cry,  
Oh, mother, dear,  
We sadly fear,  
Our mittens we have lost..._

"Why do you guys have _diamond studded _mittens on when it's ridiculously hot today?" Sanji asked the three clowns of the crew, Luffy, Usopp and Chopper.

"I really don't know," Usopp answered.

"Nami gave them to us for some reason," Chopper said.

"Shiny…" Luffy sighed, enchanted by the mitten's diamonds.

"Why did my beloved Nami-swan give you louts diamond mittens?" Sanji asked enviously.

Usopp and Chopper shrugged, Luffy continued drooling over the diamonds bizarrely.

Sanji sighed and sulked his way back to the galley to start preparing lunch.

The three resumed gawking over their mittens, but as the sun cast its unrelenting heat down on the _Thousand Sunny, _their hands overheated, and the three had to take their mittens off.

As the day continued, Luffy, Usopp and Chopper forgot about their mittens and left them on the lawn deck. As the ship rocked back and forth, it slid the mittens along the deck until they were concealed by the shadows under the swing set.

Usopp was in his workshop along with Franky.

"Long-nose bro, what happened to those mittens you guys were wearing earlier?" Franky noted the absence of diamonds.

"Oh, I forgot about them, maybe we should just give them back to Nami," Usopp said, and walked out of the workshop and looked around on the deck for the mittens.

He checked everywhere, even under the sleeping swordsman, but they were nowhere to be found.

Usopp swallowed back panic, if the mittens had fallen over board, Nami would be pissed.

Usopp went looking for the other two who owned the mittens and found them in the galley.

Luffy was holding a spoonful of peanut butter just above Chopper's nose.

"Luffy, what are you doing?" Usopp asked.

Chopper took the spoon from Luffy's hand, "I'm giving Chopper peanut butter," Luffy smiled.

Chopper took a small bite from the spoon and licked the roof of his mouth, over and over and over again.

Usopp and Luffy laughed as the troubled reindeer continued to lick the peanut butter from the roof of his mouth, "It's really sticky."

Usopp remembered what he was trying to tell the other two, "You guys, I can't find the mittens that Nami gave us."

"Chopper attempted to ask 'What?' but was choked off by peanut butter.

"I guess we'll just have to tell Nami we lost them," Luffy shrugged.

"Are you nuts? We can't do that! Nami will beat the crap out of us, make us work the debt off like slaves, and never let us borrow anything ever again!" Usopp yelled.

Luffy raised an eyebrow, "All for some mittens?"

"They were _diamond studded," _Usopp stressed, "We're just going to lie, say we have the mittens, okay?"

"You know I can hear you guys, right?" Sanji said, watching the ribs he was grilling.

"Shit," Chopper squeaked through his mouth full of peanut butter.

Usopp dived to the ground and begged Sanji, "Please don't tell Nami, please, please please!"

"I won't say anything, but Nami-san is going to find out," Sanji said, flipping the ribs.

Usopp sighed and took the other two out of the galley and made them look for the mittens again.

Lunch soon came around, and the three clowns remained abnormally quiet.

"Luffy, what happened to the mittens I loaned you?" Nami asked calmly.

"Ah, we lost them," Luffy answered, stealing the last of the ribs from Franky's plate.

_What! Lost your mittens, _

_you naughty kittens!  
Then you shall have no pie."  
Meeow, meeow, meeow, now we shall have no pie…_

"You lost them!" Nami roared.

Usopp and Chopper whimpered.

"And for desert, I made some pie," Sanji declared as he set three different flavors of pie on the table.

Luffy attempted to reach for a slice, but Nami stuck a fork in his hand.

"Ow, what was that for?" Luffy exclaimed, cradling his bleeding hand.

"You guys can't have any pie until you find my mittens!" Nami demanded.

"We lost them though," Luffy whined.

_The three little kittens they found their mittens,  
And they began to cry,  
Oh mother dear, see here, see here  
For we have found our mittens…_

"Are you talking about these?" Robin asked, pulling three pairs of mittens from her pocket.

"You had them?" Usopp, Chopper and Luffy asked in unison.

"I found them under the swing set, they aren't very clean anymore," Robin stated and gave them the dirty mittens.

_Put on your mittens, you silly kittens  
And you shall have some pie  
Meeow, meeow, meeow,  
Now let us have some pie.  
The three little kittens put on their mittens  
And soon ate up the pie,  
Oh mother dear, we greatly fear  
That we have soiled our mittens…_

"That means we can have some pie!" Luffy cheered and ate the last pieces of the pie.

"We wanted some… too," Usopp sighed.

_What! soiled you mittens, you naughty kittens!  
Then they began to cry, Meeow, meeow, meeow  
Then they began to sigh.  
The three little kittens they washed their mittens  
And hung them out to dry,_

"You guys, the mittens are all covered in dirt," Nami said, trying to wipe the grime off the mittens, "You guys need to wash them."

The three sighed and took the mittens back. They then went to the wash room, cleaned their mittens and hung them up outside to dry.

_Oh mother dear, do you not hear  
That we have washed our mittens.  
What! washed your mittens, you are good kittens.  
But I smell a rat close by,  
Meeow, meeow, meeow we smell a rat close by..._

"Thanks for cleaning the mittens up, but don't expect me to loan anything to you anymore," Nami smiled.

Chopper sniffed the air, "Do you guys smell something strange?"

The other three sniffed the air, and suddenly a yellow rat ran up to them.

"Pikachu!" It yelled and shocked the four.

The end…

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**A/N: Don't ask why Nami loaned them mittens, let alone diamond studded mittens.**

**The Chopper licking peanut butter idea is from my sister :D**

**And I randomly thought of pikachu at the end because I am also playing Pokemon Sould Silver (- nerd)**

**I think I only have a few stories left, and the last one will be Alice in Wonderland, so if you have any other requests, now would be a great time to ask them!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	24. The Pirate in the Straw Hat

**Fairy Tale: The Cat in the Hat (even though it's technically not a fairy tale...)**

**Rated: K+**

**Cast: Zoro, Nami, Luffy, Robin, Franky and Brook.**

**A/N: Another request from Taryn Streambattle, Arigatō, (that was some badass Japanese right there :P)**

**So this is an AU drabble, Zoro and Nami are kids, and everyone else is their original age.**

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_Once Upon a Time…_

The two kids watched their mother walk down the pathway and to her car. The rain blurred their vision through the window.

Zoro, the older brother, sighed, "I guess we can't go outside to play today."

Nami, the younger sister, also sighed, "And we're stuck in here until our mom gets back."

"Your mom will only be gone for a couple of hours, why don't you just watch some TV?" Their babysitter, Robin, suggested.

"I'm just going to go draw something," Nami stated and headed for her room.

"I don't watch TV, I'd rather play sports," Zoro sulked, still staring out the window.

"No worries, I can help ease your boredom," A voice came from outside the front door.

An older boy came in uninvited, and paraded toward the living room.

"I guess your mom forgot to lock the door," Robin observed.

"Who are you?" Zoro asked, slightly anxious that a stranger just came strolling in.

"I'm Luffy, and I'm going to be king of the pirates!" Luffy bellowed.

"Pirate?" Robin asked.

"I mean, I wanted to play a game," Luffy stuttered.

"What kind of a game?" Nami asked.

"I don't know… oh! Let's see how many things I can juggle while standing on a ball!" Luffy grinned and found a basketball that was lying next to the front door.

He stood on it with ease and prepared himself to juggle. "Throw some stuff to me," Luffy asked.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Robin warned. The kids chose to ignore their babysitter and found random items around the room to throw to Luffy.

Soon enough Luffy was juggling everything small enough in the house: remotes, pillows, a picture frame, coasters, lamps, and even an expensive vase.

"Luffy, you're going to eventually drop those things, and fall on your face. You might even be stabbed by a large shard from the vase," Robin warned once again.

"Why are you so morbid?" Nami asked, slightly disturbed.

Suddenly Luffy lost his balance and fell off the basketball. He dropped everything. The lamps broke in two, the picture frame and the vase shattered.

Robin giggled, "Didn't I tell you? Now the expensive vase is broken."

"Luffy, if we don't get this stuff fixed our mom is going to be really mad," Nami vexed, trying to put the picture frame back together.

"It's his fault he broke these things," Zoro pointed an accusing finger at Luffy.

"Things? Oh that's right! Guys I have another game, hang on," Luffy left the house and came back in with a giant red wooden box in tow.

"What is it now?" Zoro asked, becoming irritated.

"When I unlock this box, a couple of my friends are going to come out," Luffy declared, and unlocked the box.

Two people leapt out of the box, both wearing large signs around their neck that read "Thing 1" and "Thing 2".

"A pervert and a skeleton," Nami shouted, jumping away from the things.

"I'm not a pervert, little-sis, I'm supah thing!" Franky claimed, striking an outlandish pose.

Brook mimicked the pose, "And I'm… Brook!" Nami and Zoro face palmed.

"No, you guys are supposed to be Thing 1 and Thing 2," Luffy argued.

"Something tells me this isn't going to end well," Robin mused, flipping through a book.

"So now we're going to play a supah dance game!" Franky bellowed.

"I thought we were going to play some music," Brook disputed.

"Oh, how about we play a game to decide what game we're going to play?" Luffy suggested.

"Okay, the first one to tackle that green haired kid first and force him to eat a worm gets to pick the game," Franky stated randomly.

"What?" Zoro asked. He dodged away from Brook's attempt at tackling him.

"Get the hell away from me!" Zoro yelled and ran from the room.

Franky and Brook chased after Zoro, destroying anything in their path.

"Oh my, it looks like your mom's home," Robin informed, peering out the window.

"Shit! Luffy, you and the things have to get out!" Nami ordered.

"You don't want to play anymore?" Luffy glowered, jutting his lower lip out.

"You guys have been nothing but trouble, get out!" Nami repeated.

Brook and Franky ran back into the living room. Zoro chased them with two baseball bats in his hands.

The things jumped back into their box, and Luffy pulled it behind him.

"I guess I'll go," Luffy sulked.

"Wait, what about this mess?" Zoro asked.

Luffy turned back and looked around the room. "I guess I can help clean up a bit."

He stretched his arms throughout the house and replaced items in their rightful spots.

"What about the vase?" Nami pointed to the shards of pottery ware.

"I got it," Robin stated, her arms crossed. Hands sprouted from the ground and started gluing the pottery back together. Soon enough the vase looked as if it had never been touched.

Luffy left the house, and Zoro and Nami sat on the couch with Robin and watched TV.

Their mother came in through the front door, "Hey kids, glad the house still looks like it's in one piece. Did you have fun?"

"oodles..." Zoro stated flatly.

The End.

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**A/N: Only one Drabble left, and that is Alice in Wonderland (my all time favorite) thank you for reading! See ya later!**


	25. Nami in Wonderland

**Fairy Tale: Alice in Wonderland**

**Rated: T (curses!)**

**Cast: (oh boy, here it goes,) All of CP9 and Strawhats, Vivi, Buggy, Rayleigh, Ace, Nojiko, and one last secret character... (dun dun dun!)**

**Spoilers: If you don't recognize the names of any of the characters above, you might get confused, and small doses of spoilers are hidden inside, but If you don't know, you probably won't notice.**

**A/N: Sorry it was a longer wait for an update, but at last, the final chapter is up! enjoy~**

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_Once Upon a Time…_

Two young women rested under the shade of an oak tree. The two were sisters, Nami and Nojiko. They lived a relatively ordinary life of growing and harvesting mikans. Their mother, Bellemere, was in their small home, cooking supper.

Nami sighed, her chin in her palm, and twiddled a blade of grass.

"What is it, Nami?" Nojiko asked, but remained focused on the little tadpoles in a pond.

"Do you ever get the feeling that you could be spending your time on something more…" Nami paused to find the right word, "fulfilling?"

Nojiko rose and eyebrow and looked at Nami, "Do you mean something more unusual than just living a life?"

Nami grinned, "Exactly. I feel like our life is just a gray blur sometimes. Like all that we do is try to get by."

"I don't feel that way," Nojiko shook her head.

"It's just I have a feeling that I should be doing something else right now. What we are living right now, shouldn't have happened." Nami lowered her eyebrows in frustration. She almost _knew _that this wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be here.

"I think you're just bored, and you're letting your imagination run free," Nojiko smiled and poked Nami with an accusing finger. Nami huffed.

"I'm late, I'm going to be dead if I don't get there soon," A small voice panicked.

"Did you say something?" Nami asked Nojiko. Nojiko shrugged and shook her head.

Suddenly a small creature appeared from behind bushes and checked a pocket watch.

"A reindeer," Nami wondered aloud.

It looked at Nami and quickly ran away from her. Nami immediately got up and ran after the reindeer. Nojiko called after her, but Nami continued her pursuit, promising she would be back in a moment.

The reindeer ran on two legs instead of four, and looked as if it were part human. Nami tried to catch it, but the reindeer slipped away from her grasp and dived into a bold hole just below a tree's roots.

Nami looked into the hole and tried to reach into it, but it felt bottomless, and was pitch black.

She moved closer to try and reach for the bottom of the hole, but the ground crumbled underneath her and she fell in head first.

Nami screamed with surprise, but soon realized she hadn't hit the ground yet.

Minutes passed as she fell deeper into the darkness. Nami couldn't tell if she were upright or still upside down.

She attempted to look down and noticed there was a small dot of light. "Am I falling toward the earth's core?" She asked herself.

After many more minutes of falling, the light began to illuminate the sides of the bottomless tunnel. Nami gasped when she noticed there were random items all along the walls of the pit.

She reached toward one side and bumped a shelf, which knocked things into the air.

A pinwheel floated by Nami's hand. Mikans fell all around her. Hand drawn maps of places she didn't know flew by her eyes. Something had landed on her head. She took it off and looked at it. "What is a straw hat doing in here?"

The longer she held it the more it gave her a strange feeling, as if this raggedy hat was somehow nostalgic.

She let the hat go, and it floated up above her and snagged on a mirror that was stuck in the side of the pit.

It felt like hours Nami had been falling. She grew bored quickly, and eventually managed to position herself as if she were lying down and began to fall asleep.

Her free fall came to a sudden halt when she landed in a large body of water. She thought she was dead at first, but the urge to breathe made her think otherwise.

She surfaced and gasped for air. Licked her lips and noted that the water was salty. "Am I in the middle of the ocean?" Nami looked around for dry land and found a sandy looking island. She swam toward it and crawled onto the beach.

"Is that you, one of the Strawhats?" Someone asked.

Nami looked up and found herself surrounded by people in black suits.

"I know her, she was the one who attacked me back in Enies Lobby,"  
Kalifa scowled at her.

"Wait, you must have mistaken me for another person, I'm Nami, and I just fell into a pit. I haven't attacked anyone." Nami put her hands up in surrender.

"You really think we're going to fall for that? I know that you were with the Straw hats," Spandam spat the name.

"The straw hats?" Nami repeated.

"You don't remember your precious nakama?" Kaku asked.

"Nakama?"

"He means your crew mates," Lucci answered. "You guys came sailing in to Enies Lobby and saved Robin, in the process you nearly killed us."

"I really did that?" Nami asked with astonishment.

"Yes, you did, and now we aren't in the manga anymore and-"Fukurou began, but Kalifa zipped his mouth shut. Fukurou unzipped his mouth and gave a small "Chapapa."

"Can we just kill her for revenge?" Jyabura asked, receiving a jab from Kaku. Nami gulped.

"Yoi yoi, it sounds like this girl doesn't know what we're talking about," Kumadori exclaimed.

"Or maybe she's just playing dumb," Blueno countered.

"Quiet, all of you," Spandam yelled. "I don't care if she can remember or not, let's just get rid of her."

Nami stood up and ran from the group. None of them really seemed to care.

"I said let's kill her," Spandam ordered.

"Forget it, it's not like we'll gain anything from it," Kalifa sighed.

Nami ran to the other side of the island, where she found a small bungalow made of twigs. She opened the front door and stepped inside. The door shut behind Nami, leaving her shrouded in darkness.

She fumbled for a light switch, which she soon found. The lights flickered on and revealed a long hallway that was had doors all along the sides. Nami looked back toward the front door. It had disappeared.

Each door was locked, Nami soon found out. She sighed with frustration and looked back toward where the front door used to be. In its place was a small three legged glass table.

On the table was a key. Nami tried unlocking each of the doors, but the key didn't fit right. Just when she gave up hope, a tiny door appeared at the end of the hall. The key fit in the lock and behind the door revealed a beautiful beach.

Unfortunately, Nami couldn't fit through the door. She closed the door and looked back at the glass table.

At the foot of one of the legs was a small box, and it had a little tag that read "eat me"

Nami opened it up to reveal a mikan. She quickly ate the mikan and began to grow. She continued growing until her head hit the roof. "Crap, now how am I going to get out of here?"

The table had a little glass bottle on it as well, and in front of it was a card that read "Please Drink"

Nami opened the bottle and sniffed its contents. "Mikan juice?" she looked at it with puzzlement. It smelled exactly like mikan juice, but had a strange pink color.

Nami took a sip of it and smacked her lips. It tasted delicious, so she drank the rest of it.

Nothing happened at first, but in time, Nami noticed that she was becoming smaller than the table.

Her new size allowed her to go through the little door. At the other end of the hall, Nami jiggled the door handle, but it was locked once again.

"What is with this freaking place?" Nami yelled with Frustration.

She sat down on the ground to think of what she could do. Before long, a set of hoofs patted on the ground toward Nami, she looked up and realized it was the same reindeer she was chasing earlier.

"Nami! Am I glad to see you," Chopper smiled.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" Nami asked.

Chopper tilted his head, "Of course you know me! We've been sailing together for a long time!"

"Well, since you're my friend, can you help me get out of here?" Nami asked.

"Sure, you can come to my house. I'm a bit late to deliver some pinwheels to the duchess, but I can't simply leave you all alone," Chopper held Nami's hand and led her to a small hole in the wall. It led to a lush forest.

In the middle of the forest was a house. Chopper left Nami with a cup of tea and went to go deliver the pinwheels to the duchess.

Nami looked around the tidy house and sipped her tea. She found an extra pinwheel sitting on Chopper's work desk. She picked it up and blew on so it would spin, it looked just like Genzo's pinwheel.

Nami tried to take a sip from her tea again, but realized that it was too small to pick up. Nami was growing at an alarming rate, to the point where she had to crouch to fit in the house. She put down the pinwheel and immediately stopped growing.

Nami had become far too big for the house. She resorted to sitting on the floor and sliding her feet through the front door and a small window.

A few minutes later Chopper returned to find two large feet hanging out of his home.

"Oi Nami! What happened," Chopper yelled to her.

"You left a pinwheel here, and it made me grow," Nami responded.

"Okay hang on for a second, I'm going to get help," Chopper instructed and ran to a neighboring home. He knocked on the front door, "Usopp, are you in there?"

Usopp came to the front door, "What's up Chopper?"

"Nami grew because of a pinwheel, so now she's trapped in my house. Do you have something to make her shrink?" Chopper asked.

Usopp pondered for a moment and went back into his house. Chopper waited impatiently at the front door, listening to bangs and rattles coming from inside.

Usopp returned with a bottle that contained the same pink liquid that Nami drank earlier, "Make sure she only takes a small sip, this stuff is really potent."

Chopper nodded and took the bottle back to his house. "Nami, can you fit your hand into the chimney?"

Nami scooted her arm backwards and managed to place her hand palm-up at the bottom of the chimney, "I got it."

Chopper proceeded to climb up to his roof and he dropped the bottle down the chimney. It landed with a soft tap on Nami's hand. "Only drink a small amount of it," Chopper called down the chimney.

Nami took the cork out of the bottle and took two sips. She began to shrink, and eventually returned to normal size.

Chopper came into his house and whined when he saw his furniture crushed into pieces.

"I'm really sorry Chopper," Nami apologized.

Usopp whistled in awe, head through a window, "You really know how to destroy a house, Nami."

Nami stared at Usopp, "What's with your nose?"

"What are you talking about, my nose has been like this forever," Usopp held his nose.

"It's so weird," Nami stared at it. Usopp looked back at Nami inquiringly and left the window.

Chopper sighed and went to work on cleaning his home. "Do you want me to help out Chopper?"

"No that's alright, maybe you should go find the Duchess. She's nice and would help you find your way home." Chopper instructed.

"Wait, how did you know I wanted to go home?" Nami asked, but suddenly Chopper and the house evaporated into the air. And Nami found herself in the middle of a forest.

"This place is so strange," Nami sighed and began walking in a random direction. As she continued walking, she felt more confused about what was going on. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Why did those people say they knew me? Did I really lead some other life before? How come I can't even remember it?" She asked herself, even though she would never be able to answer those questions with her own knowledge.

"It sounds to me like you're a bit confused," a man said. Nami looked toward where the voice came from and saw an elderly man with long white hair and glasses.

"Don't tell me, you are one of my nakama too?" Nami asked irritably.

Rayleigh chuckled, "No, but I do remember you along with your crewmates."

"I keep telling everyone, I don't have crewmates! I just live in a small village named Cocoyashi with Nojiko and Bellemere-san, and I grow mikans for a living," Nami yelled.

"Nami, isn't this world completely mad?" Rayleigh asked.

"Completely mad!" Nami spat.

"Don't you think a world like this couldn't possibly exist?"

Nami paused, "Are you saying this is all a dream?"

But her question was never answered. Rayleigh disappeared, and in his place was a small mushroom that was black on one side and white on the other. Nami picked it up and heard a distant voice, "The black side makes you grow, and the white side makes you shrink. Use it wisely."

Nami placed the mushroom into her pocket and continued walking, hoping she might come to an exit from this world.

She soon, however, found herself beside a small house. Nami took the mushroom from her pocket and took a bite from the white side, and became small enough to fit into the house.

Inside, there were three people. A woman with long blue hair, most likely the Duchess, A strange looking man with a red nose, he was bent over a large kettle and stirring some kind of soup, and a small child, being cradled by the duchess.

"Why am I cooking for a flashy bitch? I'm the bravest pirate captain in all the seas, captain Buggy!" Buggy exclaimed, throwing a large saucer at Vivi.

The saucer flew by Vivi's face, "Would you stop throwing things at me, cook."

Buggy continued throwing anything he could get his hands on. Vivi raised the child in her hands and deflected the projectile dishware with it. The baby wailed loudly as it was hit.

"Why are you abusing your child?" Nami gasped.

"That's how you raise children, of course," Vivi said, deflecting a spoon with her baby's face. "You can hold him if you like," Vivi tossed her baby into the air. Nami dove to catch it.

"You better not be asking for soup, Nami, if you do, I'll throw it at you!" Buggy threatened.

"Loyal cook, I require some soup," Vivi demanded.

Nami quickly left the home before the food fight ensued. Just outside, the baby in Nami's arms fell silent. Nami looked down and realized the baby was changing. She set him down on the ground and waited. The baby grew and became furry.

It had the body of a muscular man and the fur of a panda. It bowed to Nami and silently ran away into the forest. "Goodbye, Panda-man," Nami called it.

Nami looked at where Pandaman had left, and wondered what she should do now.

"Are you lost?" Sanji appeared beside Nami. He was laying on his stomach in midair, and had cat ears and a cat tail. Of course, Nami had gotten accustomed to strange things, so it didn't surprise her.

"Weren't you inside the Duchesses home?" Nami asked him.

"Yes I was, I tend to watch over beautiful ladies," Sanji purred.

"Do you know where I should go?" Nami asked him.

Sanji pondered it for a second, "It depends on where you want to go."

"I don't really care, I just need to go somewhere."

"Then how about you go that way," Sanji pointed to his right.

Nami looked toward where he was pointing, but only saw more forest, "What's over there?"

"Nothing but madness," Sanji snickered.

Nami pouted, "I would rather go somewhere not so annoying."

"That isn't possible, my dear, because in this world, everything is mad."

"You don't seem to be mad," Nami observed.

"Well, humans don't normally float, or have cat like features. And I am mad, madly in love," Sanji swooned.

"With who?"

Sanji paused, trying to stay in character, but bursted with a loud "Mellorine!"

Nami sighed and began walking in the direction Sanji had pointed out.

Sanji reappeared by her side, "You're so lovely when you're annoyed."

"Well then I must be gorgeous, because this place is pissing me off!" Nami snapped. Sanji gave her a goofy grin and disappeared once again.

Nami continued in the same direction until she reached an open field. Right in the middle of the field, was a large table, set for ten people, but only three people were sitting.

Nami approached the table.

"All the seats are taken," A man with green hair and mouse ears claimed.

"What are you talking about, there's a bunch of seats open," Nami sat in a chair anyways.

Zoro stood up and drew a sword, "I said all the seats are taken, witch!" But before Nami could react, Sanji appeared once again and slapped Zoro in the back of the head and said "Shitty morimo."

Zoro turned but Sanji was gone. "Ero-cat!"

Another guest at the table, Brook, leaned over toward Nami, "May I see your panties?"

Nami punched him in the head and declined. "Yoho, then I guess you want tea," Brook poured hot tea from a tea pot into a broken teacup. All the tea fell out of the cup and into Brook's lap.

"What time is it?" The last of the guests, Luffy, asked.

Nami looked up at the sun, "About three in the afternoon."

Luffy stretched his arm all the way across the table and held a finger up in front of Nami's face, "Wrong! It's Six o'clock! It's always six o'clock! That means it's always tea time, isn't that right Brook?"

"Yoho, indeed it is captain-san."

"Captain? Does that mean you're my captain?" Nami asked.

"I don't think so," Luffy said.

"Yes you are," Zoro said.

"Is he?" Brook asked.

Nami face-palmed, "Are you my captain or not?"

"Yes, he is," Zoro answered.

"I beg to differ," Brook interjected.

Luffy reached over and pulled on Zoro's ear.

"What the hell was that for?" Zoro bellowed.

"What happened to your earrings?" Luffy tilted his head to the side.

Nami groaned and left the table. "Wait, where are you going?" Luffy called after her.

Nami simply ignored him and walked back into the forest, where she found a peculiar door in a tree. She walked through the door and found herself back in the same long hall that had a bunch of locked doors.

The little door at the end of the hall was still locked, and the key was still on the little glass table at the end of the hall. Nami took a bite from the black side of the mushroom and grew large enough to reach the key.

Then she ate the white side of the mushroom and shrank. When she reached the small door, she unlocked it with the key and walked to the beautiful beach she saw from before.

The beach turned out to be fairly small, but to the left of the door was a large castle that had a sunflower-like lion figure head just above two large double doors.

Nami pushed open one of the double doors, and inside was a luscious garden. Three men who looked like they were a part of the navy were vigorously digging up flowers from the garden.

"What are you doing?" Nami asked one of the men. He jumped and turned around. He realized it wasn't the queen, and sighed in relief.

"We were planting flowers for the queen, but another servant told us she didn't say 'I want you to plant me flowers,' She said 'I want some fruit tarts, sweet, not sour.'"

"Well why are you ripping the flowers out now? Can't you just leave them and get her fruit tarts?" Nami asked.

"Because they're all white flowers," The man said.

"That's kind of stupid," Nami said bluntly.

Just then the Queen of hearts appeared along with the King of hearts. "What are you doing to my garden?" The queen asked.

"Oh, Queen Robin, we were, uhh…" The man stuttered.

"He was removing these white flowers from your garden, they grew like weeds on their own," Nami lied.

Robin looked down at the man, who in turn gulped. She turned her back on him and crossed her arms.

Arms sprouted out of all three men and held their legs, backs, and shoulders. "Clutch" Robin stated, and bent all three men backwards, snapping their spines in half. Nami gasped in terror.

"Please clean up these bodies and throw them into the ocean," Robin asked another servant.

"Right away ma'am," The servant complied.

"Sorry about that minor interruption, navigator-san. Would you like to join me in the library for tea and reading?" Robin invited.

Nami gulped, "I'm sorry, but this isn't the best time."

"Time? Oh that's right, we have to get to the trial," Robin remembered. "Franky, will you get the Merry started?"

The king of hearts smiled, "Sure thing," and left Nami and Robin.

"Come along, Navigator-san, we need to get to the trial," Robin beckoned.

Nami followed Robin hesitantly and waited for Franky to bring the Merry around.

The Merry was a small boat-like craft, which had two large wings. They boarded the Merry, and Franky flew it off into the horizon, where the Merry seemed to warp right to the court house.

People were packed inside the court house, making the air humid. Nami sat in the front row, closest to the jury.

The jury consisted of twelve different people, some that Nami knew and some that were shockingly nostalgic. She just couldn't seem to remember. Those she could recall were Usopp, Zoro, Brook, Buggy, and Sanji.

"Silence in the court room," Franky called, banging a gavel.

Everyone quieted down, and the jurors picked up small papers and pencils to prepare writing.

The accused was standing to the right of Franky, wearing handcuffs. Nami could have sworn that she recognized the guy. She squinted to see him better. After a few minutes of staring at him, a name came to her mind, 'Ace'

"Herald, please read the accusation," Franky asked.

Chopper came forward with a small scroll, "Portgaz D. Ace, you are charged of beheading for sharing the same bloodline with the infamous pirate king, Gol D. Rodger."

"Guilty!" One of the unknown jurors yelled randomly.

"You can't reach a verdict yet," Robin told the noisy person, "Off with his head," She ordered. The man who spoke out was dragged outside of the courthouse.

"Call the first witness," Franky ordered.

So the first witness, Luffy, came to the stand.

"Give us your evidence," Franky demanded.

"What evidence? I just wanted to say that he's my brother, so if you kill him, I'm going to kill you," Luffy said matter-of-factly.

"He threatened us, we should behead him," Robin murmured to Franky.

"Luffy, if you have nothing else to say, then please leave the stand," Franky said.

Luffy shrugged and left the stand.

"Please bring the next witness to the stand," Franky requested, beginning to get the urge to dance.

This time Vivi came to the stand, and looked up at the king and queen nervously.

"Give us your evidence."

"Has anyone seen my baby?" Vivi asked.

Suddenly Pandaman stood from the jury and ran out of the room.

"I guess we only have ten jurors now," Robin sighed. Vivi left the stand without anything left to say.

"Well, I guess the jurors can reach their verdict," Franky looked to the jurors.

After a few minutes, the verdicts were tallied, and Chopper received another scroll to announce. "The verdict is half-and half, with five guilty, and five innocent."

The entire courtroom was silent.

"I guess then there is only one thing to do," Franky began, "And that's flip a coin."

"What?" Nami yelled. Every head turned and gazed at her. "You're going to decide whether or not to kill Ace over a _coin flip_?"

"Navigator-san, please be quiet, or you will be beheaded," Robin warned.

"I don't give a damn! You can't kill Ace like that! I won't let you!" Nami screamed. She was absolutely furious, and tired of all the madness in this world.

"Arrest her, and have her beheaded," Robin ordered.

Franky leapt from his seat and began dancing, "Ow! Supah!"

Several marine servants approached Nami, but before they got to her, the rest of the crew, save Robin and Franky, began to attack them.

Chopper unlocked the hand cuffs off of Ace, and he too joined the fight.

Fists, fire, swords, kicks, everything was flying everywhere. Nami couldn't tell who to hit orwhen to duck.

Then, she woke up.

"Navigator-san, It's time for breakfast," Robin shook Nami awake.

Nami sat up and held her head, "Just a dream?"

Robin grinned and gave Nami something that was wrapped in cloth. Nami removed the cloth to reveal a half-eaten mushroom, one side black and the other side white.

"You dropped that while you were fighting," Robin informed.

The End.

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**A/N: Woo! All done! Thank you to everyone who read, faved, reviewed, and requested! *Happy dance* See ya next time!**


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